

















. 




^ 









^ -0 












- ^ ^ * V ^ 



\ v - ' ^ 






.^. 



^ 









^/- * o s o > <V 






V 






<# 






c *» 









/ V 






r 









c* ^ 



^ x ' 






■o 



t ;/vj 



~s . N C 



A 









o^ ^ 



-^r- 
<?*. * 



*>' 



V^ 



" c\ 



J, J. -S** - 






cA° 









'<t> 



Good Manners 



GUIDE TO GOOD BEHAVIOR, 



EMBRACING 



THE USAGES OF THE BEST SOCIETY, WITH 

NUMEROUS MODELS OF NOTES* 

INVITATIONS, ETC. 



BY / 

MARY E. NASH, 

PRECEPTRESS IN CHICAGO FEMALE COLLEGE. 



JAN/10 1887,? f 



CHICAGO: 
T. S. DENISON, PUBLISHER, 

163 RANDOLPH STREET. 



V 






: : 

B\ THE SAME AUTHOR, 

EVERYBODY'S LETTER WRITER, 

A PRACTICAL, WORK, 

CONTAINING MODELS OF EVERY KIND OF 
CORRESPONDENCE. 



Price, Paper Cover, 30 Cts. Cloth, SO Cts. 



COPYRIGHT 1888, n T. s. DKKIBOK 



CONTENTS. 



Chapter I.— Home Culture. — School Decorum. 

Chapter II.— Table Etiquette. 

Chapter III. — Street Etiquette. 

Chapter IV.— Debut.— Strangers in Town. 

Chapter V. — Introductions. 

Chapter VI. — Cards. 

Chapter VII. — Calls. — New Years Calls. — Visits. 

Chapter VIII. — Invitations Given and Accepted. 

Chapter IX.— Dinners and Dinner Toilet. 

Chapter X. — Formal Receptions. — At Home. 

Chapter XI. — Breakfasts, Luncheons and Kettle Drums. 

Chapter XII. — Balls and Dancing Parties. 

Chapter XIII. — Suppers, Opera and Theater Parties. 

Chapter XIV. — Courtship and Marriage. 

Chapter XV. — Weddings. — Wedding Toilet. 

Chapter XVI. — Anniversaries. — Christenings. 

Chapter XVII. — Business Etiquette. 

Chapter XVIII. — Funerals. 

Chapter XIX. — Riding. — Driving. — Lawn Tennis. — Archery, etc. 

Chapter XX. — Special Suggestions. 

Chapter XXL— Hints to Uninitiated. 

(3) 



GOOD MANNERS. 



CHAPTER I. 



HOME CULTURE. 



Culture should begin at home. The fireside should 
afford the most attractive place of earthly felicity, and 
radiate all the refining and ennobling influences calcu- 
lated to win every member of the household to virtue 
and true politeness. 

At the threshold of every house we enter, we learn 
something of the courtesy, or lack of it, prevailing 
there. 

Politeness is a garment whose style and texture we 
recognize instantly, and in a cultivated home it clothes 
every member of the family, and is even the livery of 
the servants. A tiny child may admit us to the interior 
of that house, but we shall find its courtesy in miniature 
confronting us in that little form. 

Within we find from child to host genial, unobtrusive 
deference shown by each individual toward each, and as 
by common consent, emphasized toward a guest. 

(5) 



D GOOD MANNED 

The formalities of life should be recognized as con- 
servators of some of the most indispensable element- of 

the ideal home. 

Careless existence weakens and injures. Wholesome 
restraint and reticence foster growth and strength. Due 
formality cultivates and dignifies individual character. 

To he able u to do as we like " should not he the chief 
charm of the home. But we should there, in uncmbar- 
rassed mood, arm ourselves with courtesy and nobility, 
and wear our armor until it fits n*> perfectly, so that it 
may as^i^t tis in every emergency, enabling us to bear 
ourselves gracefully and well. 

An orderly household must he a somewhat formal 
one. But like well disciplined soldiers each member of 
the family will gladly step to its music, and respond 
promptly to its requirements. We all do homage to or- 
der, however much we may complain of the rising bell, 
and the prompt breakfast, which summon us from 
dreamland. And we fall into rank with a cheerfulness 
unknown to the desultory stragglers in a disorderly 
fa mil v. 

The first law of Heaven — order — cannot well be out 
of place on earth. A well ordered life will be a moral 
and COUlteOUS one. 

hool Decorum. 

A -chool boy or -ill is an exponent of the home Cult- 
ure from which he or she emanates. 

Tin >hod, careless, gum-chewing pupil, who 

shuffles into the schoolroom, 11 courtesies, 



GOOD MANNERS. 7 

informs the teacher and fellow-pupils of the miserable 
state of affairs in the home thus represented. 

The bright, carefully dressed and polite young lad or 
miss as truthfully proclaims the secret of wise and skill- 
ful home training. 

' A proper deference for the teacher, and kind, thought- 
ful treatment of fellow-pupils, will ever betoken this 
superior vantage ground. 

In day schools a few simple forms suffice for the pu- 
pils' conduct, in particular, the real test being in the 
general bearing. 

Pupils should lay aside all loud and violent demon- 
stration as soon as they cross the threshold of the school 
building. 

With pleasant and quiet greeting for all they meet 
they should seek their particular place, bidding the 
teacher a cordial and respectful " Good-morning." 

Perfect attention to every rule of the school, and 
every word and look of the teacher, is an important 
part of their decorum. 

To be thoughtful and anticipate a teacher's or guest's 
need, as of a book or a chair, will add greatly to the 
harmony of school life. 

If a guest, or any one not expected, enters the school- 
room, every pupil's eyes should remain upon his book if 
studying. He should give attention to whatever recita- 
tion or exercise claims it. 

Staring is the height of rudeness at any time, and in 
any place. 

Ill bred children, and grown people as well, betray 



8 GOOD MANNERS. 

their sad lack of manners in this way more frequently, 
perhaps, than in any other. 

To jres politely is a great accomplishment, 

and must be learned at home and at school if success- 
full J er life. 

Children should he taught to look only ivhcn they 
OUght, and at what they ought. 

To u speak when they are spoken to " is not a more 
timely admonition than to look when they have a right to. 
Chil Irei , as a rule, are naturally curious, but that 
- not justify their being impudent. It i^ very im- 
int that they give heed always when requested by 
parents or teachers to do so, that they may learn every- 
thing u>eful for them to know, but they should be 
thoroughly disciplined as to refraining from seeing, 
hearing or speaking when it is not desirable for them- 
selves or others. 

them in a headlong rush in these direc- 
nder them pests and nuisances wherever 

Meddlesome interference in the affairs of others, gos- 
siping and mischief-making are the legitimate maturity 
of such children. 

To lo everything at the time appointed is another 

school decorum. 
The awkward, blundering pupil, who comes late, 
- ami stutters and mumbles, is far removed from 
standard of excellence. 

ions are as necessary to health as to 
go* manners. 



GOOD MANNERS. 9 

Children should be compelled to sit erect, stand 
squarely on both feet, and hold the head and hands in 
natural and graceful positions. 

Neatness of person, dress, books and desks are es- 
sential. 

Grimaces and ugly or uncalled for gestures should not 
be allowed. 

It is to be hoped that if at school and at home young 
people are not allowed to whisper or speak when some 
one else has the floor, or interrupt others in any way, 
there will at length arrive the day or evening when we 
may be free from the public annoyance now common; 
the inability to hear a sermon, a musical recital, a 
lecture, anything in public, because of persons in the au- 
dience, who do not know that the first principles of de- 
cency require their silence and attention. 

Boarding Schools. 

Boarding schools need all these regulations and many 
more. 

Home and school etiquette are both in requisition. 
Table manners need to be made as nearly perfect as 
possible, and in fact everything which enters into the 
code of morals and manners for a home or community 
is needed in this little circle where such diverse charac- 
ters are living in such close contact. 

Nearly all the obligations of mature life are here at 
least hinted at. Deference and obedience to all in au- 
thority are indispensable. 

Permission should always be sought at once if an 



U) GOOD MANNERS. 

emergency arises in which It seems necessary even to 
(iff lisregard a rule, if not to break it. 

It is very improper to do what is not allowable, and 
then seek to be excused afterward. Observance of this 

One - ion alone will help a pupil wonderfully. 

To accept reproof in a good spirit as if aware of its 
beneficence, even if it seems harsh and undeserved, is 
another much needed item. 

The little courtesies of waiting for a teacher or sup- 
erior to precede ns in entering a room, or to occupy 
the best place or chair, stepping aside respectfully that 
they may have abundant room on the stairs, or in any 
crowded place, all these mark the refined, courteous 
student. 

At table also the teachers and quests should he thought 
of and shown delicate attentions by the pupils. 

To fall to notice whether the> have been served be- 
fore helping one's self, or to make unnecessary demands 
upon their time or attention, is a breach of good manners. 
Pupils who have friends visit them while at hoarding 
>1 should first obtain permission to entertain them, 
introduce them to their teachers when they Come, and 
take them to them for adieus when they go awav. 

Pupils should respect each other's rights mo^t sacred- 
ly, never entering another's room without, knocking and 
iving an invitation to go in, never using the hooks 
Or property of another without permission, and then 
only when unavoidable. 

specially of money, is an evil which 

tO he tolerated. 



GOOD MANNERS. I I 

If anything is lost the fact should be reported to a 
teacher, and the result of inquiry awaited and received 
without manifestation of great uneasiness or violent emo- 
tion of any sort. 

Above all, suspicion as to who may have taken it 
should never be betrayed by word or look. 

A careful, though plain toilet should be made every 
day, extra attention being given to preparations for 
dinner. A wrapper or any appearance of neglige^ in 
dress is in bad taste at the dinner table. The principal 
meal of the day is entitled to especial honor in this 
regard. 

Conversation at table, in the halls, and everywhere 
that others are affected by it, should be in a low tone, 
not calculated to attract undue attention and disturb 
others. 

One of the strongest proofs of coarseness and poor 
surroundings at home is a supercilious attitude of con- 
tempt for present arrangements and boastfulness as to 
what one is accustomed to. The truly refined never 
are guilty of showing the slightest disturbance or dis- 
pleasure with whatever is provided for them at table or 
elsewhere. 

Criticism of any one, but especially of their elders or 
superiors, is never the province of the young. 

To return from church and presume to criticise or 
ridicule the discourse or anything pertaining to the ser- 
vices, is decidedly out of place. 

That ill-bred people of mature years do it will not be 
a sufficient excuse. 



CHAPTER II. 



1 ABLE El [QUKTTE. 



What we cat i- not more important than how we 
it. 

iabilitv, formality, and deliberation in eating are 
lucive not only to elegance but to digestion. 
A solitary meal is not as beneficial as one taken in 
ipany with others. 
The formality i st French style, be- 

gin: >up, rewards the extra tr< ul le. 

up intro meal, a dinner especially, in the best 

manner | : appeases somewhat the appetite and 

iration. 

Deliber ry one knows to be essential to 

health. lb;' ev< IS an American — is prone 

With all our r< - and p 

bilities we are a tic nation because we are in - 

rich, that we can not afford time to eat as 

tting 
out i i overworking, and 1 

A mind free from care, nutriti I served 

style, time, are necessary accompani- 

r meals. 



GOOD MANNERS. I 3 

The well known general rules for conversation at ta- 
ble should never be considered obsolete. Subjects of 
interest to all should be chosen and only those things 
discussed which become the time and place, free from 
anything to which the most fastidious might object. 

Private or personal remarks are always rude. 

No reference to the food is permissible — even praise 
being out of place except under exceptional circumstan- 
ces or from very intimate friends. 

Playing with a spoon or napkin ring, drumming with 
the fingers, tapping with the foot or tilting the chair, 
beside betraying nervousness, prove extremely annoying 
to others. 

No notice should be taken of mistakes or accidents, 
unless assistance can be quietly rendered. 

All the foregoing rules are vital, never to be disre- 
garded. 

The use of the napkin should be dainty and quiet. It 
should never be used as a bib, or conveyed often to the 
face. Let no one be conscious that you are making use 
of one, by your manipulations of it. Do not fold it, but 
lay it by your plate at the end of the meal. 

Use the knife only to cut the food, never to carry it to 
the mouth. The fork must be used for the latter pur- 
pose in every case possible. Vegetables should always 
be eaten with the fork. 

The handle of the knife or fork should lie in the 
palm of the hand, and be used with an inward curve. 

In eating soup, etc., bring the side of the spoon to your 
mouth. The spoon should never be left in the cup. 



14 GOOD MANNERS. 

The English method of leaving the knife and fork on 
when it ispasBed for food is preferable, unless a 
is provided, 

( Fse the silver knife always provided for the purpose, 

when you eat fish. 

( )ne should never accept more than two cups of tea or 
coffee, or one dish of soup. 

Bread should not be cut but broken off in small pieces 

before it is buttered. To bite the bread, or butter a 

large piece, is not allowable. 

I)<> no! reach across the table or beyond another per- 
son for anything, but ask tor it. Never shove or push 
things at tal 

Introductions are not in order after being seated at 
table. 

Never read letters, papers, etc., at table. 



CHAPTER III. 

STREET ETIQUETTE. 

A chaperone to accompany young ladies and girls as 
they promenade the streets would certainly bring about 
a desirable change. 

Too many take advantage of the freedom allowed in 
our country as in no other in the world, in this respect, 
and have thus brought upon American girls severe, but 
often well-merited censure. 

Whatever excuse may be made we are all aware that 
well-bred young ladies are quiet in dress and manners, 
especially in public. 

True refinement is actuated by that innate self-pro- 
tecting impulse which forbids, or rather cannot possibly 
be guilty of, loud conversation and laughter, unbecoming 
actions, and boldly roaming eyes, anywhere, but least of 
all in places where they are so dangerous and offensive 
as in the street. 

Girls, never give your full glances to strangers any 
more than you would give them a familiar pressure of 
the hand! Do not project yourselves indiscriminately 
anywhere, least of all on the street or in public places! 

Introductions, hand shaking, the exhibition of personal 

(15) 



10 GOOD MAN NEB 

regard or the lack of it, arc not in good taste on the 
street 

BOWS between intimate friends are mutual. In other 

ttS the lady hows first. 

Bows may take the place of lifting their hats when 

gentlemen are riding horseback or driving. They may 

if they choose touch the hat with the whip. 

Bowing is permissible from a lady to a strange 
gentleman who has done her a service, but she should 

not speak, as a rule. 

Gentlemen always lift their hats when doing a service 
to a lady who is a stranger. 

Gentlemen should lift their hats, but not their eyes, 
to ladies of their acquaintance who are offended with 
them, or who for any reason will not recognize them. 

Nothing short of complete uncovering of the head is 
proper when a gentleman meets a lady of his acquaint- 
ance in the street. The old idea, too common in 
America, that only the extremely fashionable gentleman 
indulges in this deferential politeness is now wholly 
obsolete, at least with the ladies, and we voice the best 
of them when we say, "If you respect yourself or those 
you salute, remove your hat and bow as gracefully as a 
Chesterfield, if you can." It is the only manly salutation 
in VOgue. Boorishness or laziness are the onlv explana- 
tions for a jerk of the head or mere raising of the hand 
to the hat 

Gentlemen escorting ladies on the street, lift their hats 
to the acquaintances of the ladies in their care. 

A gentleman should walk on the outside of the walk, 



GOOD MANNERS. 1 7 

if possible without too much change and demonstration, 
and should precede the lady in ascending or descending 
stairs, or in entering crowded places. 

The gentleman should offer his left arm to a lady 
where she needs such assistance, which will dispose of 
the question of which side of the stairway, the rail or 
the wall should be given her. 



CHAPTER IV. 

DEBUT. 

Previous to a voung lady's formal introduction into 
society, which should never take place until her school 
davs arc at an c\)d, she is wholly out of place at any 
formal party for mature people. At her own home, 
even, she may not take part in such receptions except 
those of a family nature, such as marriages, birthday 
anniversaries, etc. 

Preparatory to her "coming- out" the mother of the 
debut#nte calls upon all whose acquaintance she covets 
for her daughter, and leaves her own and her husband's 
cards. 

Two weeks before the party given in honor of the 
event, the invitations are issued. The young lady's 
card may be inclosed with the invitation, or the object 
of the party announced formally in the invitation. 

At the reception the young huh' standing at the left 
of her mother, is presented to ladies and elderly guests. 

The father, if there is no brother, escorts her to the 
supper table. The mother comes last with the most 

hon ntleman guest present 

She does nut dance more than once with any one. 
When the ceremonial calls are made after the party 
she is asked for with her mother. 

(iS) 



GOOD MANNERS, 19 

During her first season she has no card of her own, 
can make no formal calls alone nor receive gentlemen 
visitors, except in the presence of her mother, or other 
chaperone. 

A young man's advent into society is in inverse im- 
portance to his advent into the world. No ado is made 
about the former, but he quietly makes his debut as 
escort of his mother or sister. Then his mother leaves 
his card with her own and her husband's, after which 
he receives invitations on his own account. 

After making his first party call he leaves his own 
card, and is considered " launched." 

Strangers in 7 own. 

Ours is the only nation whose code of etiquette de- 
crees that strangers should receive calls from old resi- 
dents. 

No one should wait for introductions, but the resident 
ladies may call between two and five o'clock and send 
in their own and husband's, brothers' or father's cards, 
making a brief, but very friendly call. 

A call in return, or an apology, should follow within 
a week. 

A card only from the new comers would indicate 
that for some reason they could not receive callers. 

A gentleman cannot call upon strangers without 
either an introduction or an invitation. 



CHAPTER V. 



INTRODUCTIONS. 



To introduce nicely and gracefully is an accomplish- 
ment. 

American- are criticised because they are not as a 
rule particular enough as to when, where, and to whom 
they introduce. 

Be leisurely about it — leisure is indispensable to ele- 

gan 

Do not become nervous the moment two persons are 
thrown together who have not met before. In many 
cases they will be pleased if you do not concern your- 
about it. Take time to consider whether it be de- 
sirable for them to be introduced, and, when it is pos- 
sible, be certain it is before you take the task upon you. 

Introductions are given at dinners and dances to the 
extent necessary, as of course between those who are, for 

the time, partners either at table or in the dance. 

At large receptions where persons meet upon an 
equal footing no introductions should, as a rule, be given 
<>r asked 

Introduction- are not in order on the street or in any 
place where it is not necessary or desirable. 

Present young pei their elders, gentlemen to 



GOOD MANNERS. 21 

ladies, unmarried to married ladies (unless the latter are 
younger), and those of less importance to their superiors. 

A gentleman should not be presented to a lady until 
her consent has been secured. 

The order of the introduction may be indicated by 
the tone of voice, that is to say, Miss B (with falling 
inflection) Mrs. A (rising inflection), would show that 
the unmarried woman is presented to the married. 

Handshaking is almost entirely abandoned by the 
most refined persons, at least in general society. If the 
hand is extended at all it should be done cordially. A 
bow can be made so friendly as to be much more cour- 
teous than disdainfully offered finger-tips. 

A gentleman should always be guided by the lady he 
meets as to the degree of friendliness manifested. 

If a lady extends her hand to a gentleman of course 
he takes it, but does not remove his glove, and never 
offers his first. 

Young ladies, if truly polite, will not be capricious, 
sometimes bestowing favor, and sometimes not, in a 
childish, coquettish manner, but will always be polite in 
their greetings, or withhold them altogether. 

A gentleman wishing to become acquainted with a 
lady to whom he has merely been introduced may leave 
his card at her home, and if she desires to meet him 
again, he will soon receive an invitation to the house, 
otherwise he must consider his acquaintance dropped. 

An invitation to call, without any time being specified, 
is equivalent to none. 

If introduced to a young lady by letter, a gentleman 



GOOD 1 

calls upon her and asks for the ladies of the family, 
sending in his own card with that which introduces 
him. 

introduction arc not as much in use as 

They should he acknowledged within a week 

cither by a call or an invitation. 

On the envelope of letters of introduction write u In- 
j Mr. [ones," or write the same on your visit- 
ing car 

It is extremely ill bred to show displeasure or fail to 
acknowl iciously any introduction either by word 

or by letter, unless some serious objection 

It is not necessary to become intimate with any one 
who seems undesirable, but we cannot afford ever to be 
urteous. 

periority of character is shown most forciblv by 
humility and fearlessness. 

Those who appear fearful that they shall be degraded 
contact with persons inferior to themselves are 

then. in so dubious a position that they dare not 

: anything. 

When first introduced one should not be too cordial, 
but wait for further acquaintance before entering into 
and mai f high regard. 

L uld never express pleasure in an in 

ntleman, exo dial manner 

may indicate. The gentleman is the oik- to ex; 

itification in wo; 

First greeting and, rate 

in warmth. 



GOOD MANNERS. 



2 3 



A gentleman invited to the house of a lady who does 
not recognize him may address her without a repetition 
of the introduction. This may happen because gentle- 
men so often call by leaving a card instead of meeting 
the ladies in person. 



CHAPTER VI. 

C AKDS. 

Calling cards must be thin, unglazed, white, engraved 
simply in script. 

S ze in England, 3, 1 jX-'a inches for ladies; for gen- 
tlemen, 3x1 y 'j inches. In France the cards for gentle- 
men are larger than in England. English custom 
prevails in America. 

Oh a lady's card her name, with prefix Mrs. or Miss 
(never anything which calls attention to her husband's 
rank or title graved. 

Unmarried daughters may have their names engraved 
on their mother's card, or have their own cards, as they 
prefer. 

A lady leaves her husband's card with her own. 

If wishing to be ceremonious, a gentleman caller will 
leave a card for the lady of the house, one for her hus- 
band, and another, turned down through the middle, for 
other members of the family. 

Cards are left in the hall. 

Adieu may he formally taken by sending to each ac- 
quaintance your calling card, with P. P. C. engraved 
upon it. P. 1\ C. cards may he Bent by mail.* 

•French; ' l Pour prendre con^r "—to take leave. 



GOOD MANNERS. 25 

Turn a card down at one corner or across the right 
end, to signify that it was left in person. 

Write on your card " Congratulations," if the person 
is not at home. 

R. S, V. P. is no longer in vogue. 

Numerals may be written, not engraved, on a card, 
except the number of a residence. 

Wedding cards are sent out at least ten days before 
the ceremony. They are left in person by the bride, 
who does not enter the house. 

An admission card is sent with wedding cards, if the 
ceremony is at the church. 

A card or note of invitation to the wedding breakfast 
or reception is inclosed for special friends. 

Form for admission card : 



Union Park Church, 

Ceremony at Eleven Cf Clock; 
or, 

Union Park Church, 
Wednesday, Eleven 0' Clock. 

An address added to a calling card should be placed 
at lower right-hand corner. 

A card, with perhaps a bouquet, sent on occasions of 



l6 GOOD MANNERS. 

birth or death, are delicate tokens of friendship. They 
require no answer. 

Cards of sympathy or congratulation should always 
be left in person. 

Husband and wife have separate cards, except directly 

after marriage. 



CHAPTER VII. 

CALLS. 

Old-fashioned hospitality finds itself in straight jacket 
when it attempts to assert itself in fashionable society. 

Calls — and these often made by means of a slip of 
pasteboard, instead of in person — have long since super- 
seded the visits of olden time. 

No doubt we all appreciate, even if we deplore, the 
necessity of such a change, when one must keep up a 
visiting acquaintance with a very large circle of friends. 
Time is precious, and few could make or receive the 
visits so frequent in the days of genuine, old-fashioned 
hospitality. 

Afternoon calls or evening visits are made in 
America from 3 to 6 p. m. 

Business men may make calls between half-past eight 
and nine o'clock; all who have sufficient leisure, between 
two and five. 

A lady always rises to receive her callers. 

A hostess when receiving many callers may remain 
seated as they bid her adieu, simply bowing. She 
need not accompany a guest to the door, unless it 
becomes her to exhibit great reverence or respect to 
some exceptional one. 

(27) 



GOOD M.WM.i 

At such times when many callers are coming and 
going, the)' converse without introduction, but afterward 
need not claim acquaintance on that ground* 

A gentleman may leave a lady's card for her at a 
house (except after a festivity), if it is inconvenient for 
the lady to attend to it. 

Calls of condolence are returned by mourning cards 
a- soon as the family appear in public again. 

.After a formal dinner, luncheon or breakfast, calls 
should be made within three days, and within a week 
after being invited to a reception, whether the invitation 
was accepted or not. 

When making a brief call, a gentleman leaves his 
overshoes, overcoat and umbrella in the hall, but carries 
hat and cane, and may remain standing, especially if 
others are present. 

A gentleman never makes a formal call without 
asking for all the ladies of the family. 

.After a formal dinner calls must be made within a 
week or card left in person (right side or right-hand 
upper corner turned over) for each grown member of 
the family. 

Aftrr a ball those invited must call within a week, 
whether they accepted the imitation or not. 

An elaborate reception is preceded by a call in 
person or by card upon each -nest. 

J r isits. 

Tho-e who are truly hospitable still invite and enter- 
tain, somewhat after the custom of a ye olden time." 



GOOD MANNERS. 20 

To make extended visits at all enjoyable, is an art 
which must be understood well by both guest and 
hostess, as each have a part to play which is most 
important to success. 

The invitation should be made very definite and 
clear. It is not only proper, but considered just what 
the case demands, that the exact time be mentioned. 
"Come and spend Thanksgiving week, 5 ' or "Come 
next Friday and stay over the Sabbath," makes the 
guest feel certain of being perfectly at her ease for that 
length of time, and she should not exceed it, even if 
asked to do so. 

Visits, as a rule, should never be made without a defi- 
nite invitation. 

If for any reason you see fit to arrange the matter 
yourself, however, be certain to give ample warning. 
Surprises are in bad taste. 

We should make ourselves at home at our friend's re- 
quest, but in such a manner that all others may feel at 
home also, not by appropriating all the attention and 
pleasures, but by adding to them in every way possible. 

We should quietly possess ourselves of the usual pro- 
gramme of the family arrangements, and carefully con- 
form thereto, never being late at table, or in any way 
proving a source of annoyance instead of enjoyment. 

If possible to be useful even to our entertainers, it 
should be our delight to do so, and some of the cosiest 
visits are made when the guest shares the duties of the 
hostess. Never should one insist upon this, however, 
as it might not be desirable. 



30 GOOD Nf.W 

A long Visit will weary all concerned, if each is not 
left alone part of every day to rest and take up by 

herself chosen lines of thought. 

After such a visit a letter should be written imme- 
diately tO inform your hostess of your safe arrival at 
home, 

NEW YEAR'S C AIJ.s. 

The best sort of New Year's calls are as much a 
benefit to society as the worst have been a detriment. 

To make this a good day morally and socially, is 
worth while. 

No lady or gentleman worthy the name will have 
any hand in making it a day of carousal and debauchery. 

Gentlemen may call upon the ladies of their circle of 
acquaintance at any time between 12 m. and 10 o'clock 
in the evening. 

Ladies may send out cards of invitation in single 
envelopes, if they expect to entertain formally. 

If ladies of the same family are to receive with the 
hostess, their names are engraved beneath hers. If 
other ladies also, their calling cards are inclosed with 
the invitation. 

Hostess 1 invitation may be: 

Mrs. Charles Dayton 
At Homey 

January Firsts from one until nine clock. 
No. 297 James St. 



GOOD MANNERS. 3 1 

The street door should be opened by a servant with- 
out waiting for the bell to be rung. 

Leaving their cards in the hall, gentlemen enter the 
drawing room, hat in hand. 

Overcoat and cane (hat also, if preferred) should be 
left in the hall. 

The hostess, if the rooms are not crowded, rises to 
receive each guest, extending her hand, and presenting 
him to the younger ladies. 

When the usual season's greetings have been ex- 
changed, a servant may offer coffee and cake, etc., or 
he may seek the table without invitation, or in company 
with some lady entertainer who offers to show him the 
way, even though she must at once return to her 
place. 

The call must be very brief, the most formal not 
exceeding three minutes. 

A bow to the ladies in retiring is sufficient, or if the 
hostess is occupied, even that may well be omitted. 

"January i" upon a lady's visiting card may serve as 
a less formal invitation to call upon her on that day. 

Gentlemen who cannot call upon their lady friends 
should at least send their calling cards, inclosed in en- 
velopes, or leave them in person, the folding over of 
the right-hand side indicating that they were left in this 
manner. 

As many cards should be left as there are ladies 
receiving. 

For formal receptions the house should be lighted as 
in the evening, but not for informal ones. 



32 GOOD MANNERS. 

Refreshments should be provided which are dainty 

and attractive. 

Even those who have to do with wine at other times, 
do not now oiler it or accept it upon Xew Year's da v. 
fur very obvious reasons. 

Coffee, chocolate and tea take the place of the intoxi- 
cating cup, whether for conscientious or only worldly- 
wise motives. 

For formal receptions ladies must he in full dress. 
For less formal, visiting costumes and light gloves. 
Gentlemen don morning costume of dark coat and 
lighter pantaloons, with light (not white) gloves. 



CHAPTER VIII. 



INVITATIONS. 



Invitations intended to be very cordial are in the first 
person, but when given in the third person should be 
answered in the same person. 

To present one's compliments in giving or responding 
to an invitation is no longer in good style. 

A dinner invitation should always be answered on the 
day received, as every place must be filled and any guest 
who cannot be present must at once make it known to 
the hostess. 

Two or three from the same family may be invited— 
never more. 

An invitation to a Kettle Drum or some informal 
party may be given by a few words to that effect on a 
lady's calling card, and unless she indicates that an 
answer is desired may be replied to simply by attend- 
ing or sending a card. 

Invitations for a formal dinner should never be given 
to a large number. 

The day of week and day of month should each be 
carefully stated in an invitation. 

R. S. V. P. is being omitted from etiquette terms. Also 
"polite invitation" is no longer considered in good taste. 
3 (33) 



31 GOOD MANNERS. 

At least one member of the family must be invited 

with a friend, who is a guest in that family, if you wish 
to invite her. 

Form of invitation for a dinner party in honor of a 
distinguished person: 



To Meet 
Mr. Arthur Boardntan % 

of New York. 



Invitations given in the name of both host and hostess. 
Form : 



Mr. and Mrs. Brutus Browne 

request t lie pleasure of 

Mr. Ranso)>i Hoyf s company 

at dinner on Thursday, 

June Tenth, 1885, at six o'clock. 

8 Ash Ave. 



or, 



GOOD MANNERS. 35 

Mr. and Mrs. Brutus Browne 

request the pleasure of 

Miss Alice Thome's 

company at dinner 

07i Tuesday, January Sixth, 

at seven o'clock. 
8 Ash Avenue. 

Form of reply : 

Mr. and Mrs. Brutus Browne 

accept with pleasure 

Mr. and Mrs. Augustus Stone's 

invitation to dinner at seven o'clock Tues. Eve. 

January 20. 



j6 GOOD MANNliKS. 

or, 

Mr. and Mrs. Brutus Browne 

regret t licit a previous engagement 
prevents the acceptance of 

Mr. and Mrs. Stone's 
invitation for Tuesday Evening, Jan. 20. 

Cipher, monogram, or crest, may be placed on en- 
velope of invitation but omitted from the note itself. 
Form of wedding invitation: 

Mr. and Mrs. Brutus Broivne 
request your presence 

at the marriage of their daughter 

Miss Susie Belle, 

to 

Mr. Jerome Wood, 

On Tues. Morning, Sept. 10, 1885, 

at eleven clock. 
(Place.) 



GOOD MANNERS. 37 

Form for reception: 

Mr. and Mrs. James Wilson 

At Home 

Tuesday Morning, September Tenth, 

from half -past eleven until four o'clock. 

59 West Leonore Street. 

At Home form for a series of receptions : 

Tuesdays in October 

from three to seven d clock. 

"Breakfast at Ten o'clock" may be written below a 
lady's name on visiting card as an invitation to a Break- 
fast party, and should be sent five days in advance. 

Acceptance Form : 

Mr. and Mrs. Brutus Browne 

aecept with pleasure 

Mr. and Mrs. Harvey Reynolds 

invitation to dinner at 6 o'clock, Tuesday Evenings 

November 24. 



38 GOOD MANNERS. 

Announcement Form : 

Mr. and Mrs. J. Douglas Clarke 

Announce the marriage of their daughter 

Miss Annie Louise 

and 

Mr. David Ruf us Kennedy, 

Wednesday, September Eighth, 1886, 

629 Pearson Ave. 



An invitation to a supper (a gentleman's party) is 

written on the host's card. 



Supper at nine d clock 

Saturday, Jan. 20. 



Acquaintance to whom the hostess is indebted for 
formal civilities. 



GOOD MANNERS. jo 

Form: 

518 West Adams St. 

Mr. and Mrs. John Taft 

request the pleasure of your presence 

on Wednesday evening, December Tenth, 

from eight until eleven o'clock. 

or, 

25 Oak St. 

Mrs. R. H. Green, 

Miss Green, 

Wednesday, December Tenth. 

Tea at four o'clock. 

{Kettle Drum.) 

A "Kettle Drum" is a light entertainment with demi- 
toilette for both ladies and gentlemen. 
A good form for debut invitation : 



jo GOOD MANNERS', 

Mr. and Mrs, II. W. Stone 

request the pleasure of 
presenting their daughter 
Miss Kate Felicia 

to 

Mr. Norman Devon 

on Wednesday Eve., May 9, 

at half-past eight o'clock. 

Dancing at eleven. 59 Park Ave. 

A still more acceptable method is simply to inclose 
the card of the young lady in the envelope with the in- 
vitation. 
Form for Anniversaries : 

Mr. and Mrs. John Holmes 

request your presence 

at the twenty-fifth anniversary of their marriage. 

On Thursday evening, September 12, '85, 

at 7 0" clock. 



GOOD MANNERS. 41 

"At Home" Form: 

Mr. and Mrs. Paul Perkins 

At Home, 

Friday morning, November Tenth, 

from half-past ten until three o'clock. 

97 West Fourteenth St. 

For any ceremonious invitations use two wrappers; 
for those which are less formal one is sufficient. 

For balls less formal invitations than formerly are 
admissible. An ordinary a At home" card may be used 
by writing "Dancing" in one corner. 



CHAPTER IX. 



DINNERS. 



Guests should never be late at dinner, nor should they 
he too early. A quarter of an hour or at most half an 
hour is as Ion;,;" as a tardy guest may be waited for. 

Dinner is announced by a waiter who bows to the 
host. The host proceeds to the table first, giving his left 
arm to the most honored lady guest. The hostess fol- 
lows last of all, with the most favored gentleman 
gitest. 

A gentleman should offer his left arm to the lady he 
escorts to the table, place her at his right and seat him- 
self immediately after she is seated. 

The ladies all sit with the hostess — the gentlemen fol- 
lowing suit at once. 

Host and hostess may not sit vis a vis. 

As the guests take their places at table they lay their 
napkins on their laps, take off their gloves and remove 
their roll of bread to leftside of plate. They commence 
eating as soon as served. 

All ceremonious dinners are now a la Russe, that is 
no carving done at the table, and the courses handed 
around by the servants. 

The servants begin their service with the lady at the 

(4^) 



GOOD MANNERS. 



43 



host's right hand. She should be ready for the second 
course by the time all have been helped to the first. 

A napkin folded simply and squarely is placed on the 
plate of each guest with a roll of bread. A small spoon- 
shaped fork for oysters, a smaller one for fish, and a sil- 
ver knife for fish are usually provided. If the latter is 
absent hold the fork in the right hand and assist its use 
by a piece of bread in the left. Soup should be eaten 
with a large spoon. Dessert spoons are not considered 
en regie. 

A Menu card is laid under the one with guest's name 
on it placed by each plate. 

The dinner card should be elegant. It is intended to 
be kept as a souvenir of the dinner. 

When dinner is over, the hostess bows to the lady at 
the right of the host, and rises, followed by all the 
guests. 

Gentlemen now accompany the ladies to the drawing 
room, postponing or omitting the smoking universally 
indulged in formerly. 

Coffee may be served either at table after dessert, or 
in the drawing room a half hour later. 

At any time thereafter a guest may leave, and should 
always do so in less than two hours after dinner. 

A guest obliged to retire unusually early should speak 
to the hostess before dinner and then retreat very quietly 
without formal leave taking. 

Dinner Toilet. 

Full dress is required at a formal dinner. A lady can 



44 GOOD MANNERS. 

scarcely be too handsomely dressed for this occasion, 
according to the decree of* fashion. 

Flowers, and precious stones, dress coats, and white 
neckties are in order now. 

Gloves having been removed at table need not be 
replaced dining the evening. 



CHAPTER X. 

AT HOME RECEPTIONS, 

At Home is not generally engraved upon a reception 
card for a single entertainment unless after a wedding. 
For a series of receptions a good form is — 

Thursdays in January, 

from three to seven o'clock. 

At all afternoon gatherings it is necessary that a 
servant be on duty to assist the ladies to and from their 
carriages. 

He will give to each lady and to her driver the num- 
ber of her carriage in the order of arrival. 

A servant, without waiting for the bell to be rung — 
opens the door, receives the cards, and directs to the 
waiting room. 

Ladies may retain their bonnets and wraps, and gen- 
tlemen carry their hats if they prefer. 

A lady enters the drawing room at the right of the 
gentleman or chaperone attending her. 

A wife at the right of her husband, unless an older 
lady is with him. 

It is, however, fast becoming customary for ladies to 
advance alone, followed by their escorts. 

(45) 



\G GOOD MANNERS. 

The hostess keeps her position during the reception, 
but her daughters, or other ladies of the family, may join 
in the dancing or other features of the hour. 

If there is dancing the band must be as far as con- 
venient from the hoste^-. 

Those who dance leave their wraps in the dressing 
room. 

As some will not care to go to the table for refresh- 
ments, coffee, dainty sandwiches, ices and cakes, are 
often passed to the guests. 

This may be done by a servant, or by young society 
ladies chosen by the hostess. 

A gentleman seldom takes anything but coffee at 
such a reception. 

Ladies partake more freely of the entertainment pro- 
vided. 

No guest should remain longer than half an hour in 
crowded drawing rooms. 

These elaborate receptions should be preceded by a 
visit, or call by card, upon each guest. 



CHAPTER XI. 

BREAKFASTS. 

Formal breakfasts may be given at any time between 
nine and eleven o'clock, or very formal ones at twelve 
o'clock. 

Both gentlemen and ladies are invited. 

Write " Breakfast at nine o'clock" below name on 
visiting card and send five days in advance. 

The food should be light and delicate in form. No 
great quantity of anything, but a pleasing variety. 

The hostess serves the coffee and chocolate which is 
placed before her on the table. There are fewer courses 
than at dinner. 

The guests depart within a half hour after breakfast. 

Both ladies and gentlemen wear walking costumes 
with visiting gloves, which are removed at table. 

Kettle Drums. 

Kettle drums are used to discharge social obligations 
in the least burdensome manner, and are very enjoy- 
able because of the lack of superfluous ceremony. 

A kettle drum is an informal reception similar to the 
more formal one described above, in its general features. 

(47) 



GOOD MANNERS. 

A visiting card may be used for the invitation, giving 
date, etc., or the form below: 

293 Orchard St. 

Mrs. C. A. Bailey, 

Miss Bailey > 

Wednesday, November Ninth, 

Tea at Free O'clock. 

Simple refreshments are served almost immediately 
upon the arrival of the guests by a servant, bearing upon 
a tray the delicate viands, or by young ladies who have 
been requested to officiate. 

Leave takings should not be ceremonious. 

LiDiclieoiis 

To which only ladies are invited, maybe given at any 
time near the middle of the day. 

Toilet and order of reception, etc., much the same as 
at any informal reception. 

The number of guests should be small, and include 
only those who will find each other's presence accept- 
able. 

Refreshments may be as sumptuous as desired, and 
the courses nearly as numerous as for a dinner. 



CHAPTER XII. 

BALLS AND DANCING PARTIES. 

Balls begin at a much later hour than ordinary parties, 
anywhere between half-past nine and eleven o'clock. 

Less formal invitations are now used for balls than 
formerly. 

It is very common to write "Dancing" and the hour 
for the ball to begin on the corner of an "at home" card 
or ordinary invitation. 

The invitations should be sent out in two envelopes 
from ten to twenty days before the ball. 

The after calls should be made within a week, 
whether the invitation was accepted or not. 

As much of the furniture as possible is generally 
removed from the drawing room (to prepare it for 
dancing) and linen cloth drawn over the carpet. 

Growing plants and flowers serve to decorate the room. 

In the supper room choice food is served, both cold 
and hot, at 12:30 or 1 o'clock,- drinks, as coffee, choco- 
late, lemonade, etc. 

Waltzing at intervals forms the greater part of the 
programme. 

Supper is announced immediately after the German 
Cotillon. 

3 (49) 



50 GOOD MANNERS, 

D \ncing* 

Square dances arc nearly out of use. 
A gentleman must address the mother or chapcrone 
previous to requesting a partner, and always bring the 

young lady back to the former after the dance, without 
delay. 

To tarry for conversation or any other deviation 
before performing this duty is inexcusable. 

Balls usually close at about two or three o'clock. 

Full dress is required. Gloves, but never white ones, 
for both ladies and gentlemen. 



CHAPTER XIII. 

SUPPERS. 

Suppers are gentlemen's parties. 

The forms of evening parties for both ladies and 
gentlemen are easily adjusted to the requirements of the 
latter 

Held as they usually are at a hotel or restaurant the 
details are arranged with little trouble to the enter- 
tainers. 

Bachelors, rarely others, give opera or theater parties, 
private theatricals and musicales . 

If given by a bachelor he must first find a matron 
who is willing to chaperone the young ladies of the 
party. 

He gives the invitations in person, first gaining per- 
mission of the mother, mentioning to her the name of 
the married lady who will act as chaperone. 

The dinner may be given in a hotel, fashionable 
restaurant, or at the house of a friend. 

Six o'clock is a good hour for the dinner. 

Each young lady if not accompanied by her father or 
brother has a waiting woman in attendance who returns 
to accompany her mistress home after the entertainment, 
generally at about half-past twelve. 

(so 



SJ GOOD MANNERS. 

Immediately after the dinner the party proceed to the 
opera or theater in carriages furnished by the host. 

The gentlemen assigned to a young lady as her escort 
at dinner accompanies her to the opera where boxes have 
been secured, as the party is in full dress. 

After the opera or theater the guests return to the 
dining room for refreshments, and then separate. 

A gentleman accompanies each lady who is called for 
by the waiting woman only. But if her father or her 
brother call for her the gentleman who has attended her 
during the evening simply escorts her to her carriage. 

He afterward calls upon her within three days or 
leaves his card. 

The host pays his respects to both mother and 
daughter within a week. 

The young ladies call upon their chaperone a few 
days after the party. 

The after supper opera or theater party, though 
somewhat less elaborate, is scarcely less formal. 

The host leaves tickets with the invitation*. 

The matron awaits the party which first meets in the 
box or boxes to which the tickets assign them. 

If given by a lady she extends the invitations by 
informal notes in her own name. And the dinner is 
usually given before tbe attendance upon the public 
amusement. 

The light supper afterward is optional. 

The latter, or after supper form i> the most popular. 

For private theatricals or musicales, the word "Theat- 



GOOD MANNERS. 



53 



rical" or "Musicale" is written on the left lower part of 
a card. 

If dancing is to follow, "Theatricals at nine o'clock" 
is written across the card. "Dancing at eleven," "Fancy 
dress,' 5 or "Bal masque" may be written at the left 
lower side if either is desired as a part of the pro- 
gramme. 

For a character or author's party write "In character 
from Shakespeare" after the host's or hostess' name. 

Invitations for these must be sent three or four weeks 
in advance. 

Costumes for Theatre and Opera. 

Costumes may now be less elaborate for theater or 
opera than formerly. 

Gentlemen may appear in demi-toilet or matinee suits, 
wearing gloves or not as they choose. They may wear 
dress coats and evening neckties without gloves, after 
the manner of English aristocrats. 

A lady in full toilet must ride in a carriage and 
occupy a box. 

A gentleman is at liberty to ask a lady her preference 
and should at least state where she is to sit when he 
invites her to attend the theater. 

If she is to sit in a box she must go unbonneted and 
wear a light opera cloak if she does not wear full eve- 
ning dress. 

For any other seat she must wear a bonnet, unless 
honor is to be shown to some star of wondrous magni- 
tude. Pretty evening bonnet and light gloves are now 



5| GOOD MANNERS. 

accepted as the utmost Fashion requires in the direction 
of full dress. 

It is perfectly proper for gentlemen to escort ladies to 
the opera by means of one of the public conveyances if 
street toilets are worn. Gentlemen need not appear in 
full dress unless the ladies set the example. 

To be extravagant beyond one's means is, in this, as 
in all other cases, a lack of real breeding, and moreo\er 
of common sense. 



CHAPTER XIV. 

COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE. 

About this most important subject for our considera- 
tion much has been said by many advisers, but little that 
can be utilized. 

The subtle significance attached to the subjects which 
head this chapter elude the thraldom of pen and paper. 

If any human being could prescribe, unerringly, for 
the benefit of those who tread in these much frequented 
paths, and teach them how to charm wisely and suc- 
cessfully, he would quickly find himself the most popu- 
lar of mortals, and his methods would be most earnestly 
followed. The avidity with which a volume setting 
forth the modus operandi would be purchased by the 
unmarried of every condition, and secretly consulted, 
would be unparalleled. 

The happy being who could thus bless his race seems 
however, as yet undiscovered. 

Help may be afforded, but individual intelligence may 
not be dispensed with. 

Hints to Toung Men. 

A bashful youth who longs to win the regard of some 
sweet, but independent miss, may be admonished in 
some important particulars. 

(55) 



56 GOOD MANNERS. 

Self-Control.— Keep yourself in hand. Take 

yourself out of her presence if you find you are not 
master of the situation, for nothing is more fatal than a 
ridiculous appearance. Of course what you are is of 

chief importance, yet it may profit you nothing if you 
cannot he agreeable and self-possessed, and someone far 
less worthy, hut capable of appearing well on all occa- 
sions, may win your prize before your very eyes. 

Seek to BE worthy first of all, and then bear your- 
self with manly self-respect, not conceit, and try, how- 
ever you may feel, to act as if confident that your case 
would be a hopeful one, at least in some quarter. 

Your fair one would perhaps be flattered to see you 
overcome by her presence, and abject in your devotion 
to her, but she will not therefore love you but be 
tempted to despise instead. 

Show always a delicate attention, indicated by 
thoughtful anticipation of her wishes, and yet as if it 
required no great effort on your part, or exceptional 
courtesy to so wait upon her. 

Wise Discretion. — Remember you can affect her 
indirectly as well as directly. She will admire greatly 
your tact and ability as displayed in the courteous treat- 
ment of others as well as of heiself. Only so far as her 
regard for you seems to warrant, single her out for 
special attention. 

Discernment. — If she seems always to welcome 
you to her side by a smile which you may justly inter- 
pret as preference for your society, of course you may 
bestow such exclusive favor as the occasion warrants. 



GOOD MANNERS. 



57 



Be careful, however, that you learn to read aright the 
mysterious hieroglyphics of a woman's face. 

Her smile may mean much or little, and if a society 
woman, you must be prepared to decipher more difficult 
characters than those requiring a Philadelphia lawyer's 
skill. 

Even the blush meant, we believe, originally, to be a 
signal of distress on the part of a heart about to sur- 
render, is no longer a sure guide. If not artificial it 
may be very superficial. 

How shall you tell, then? 

Well, if you have any discernment worthy the name, 
you can by careful tests, know at least a large part of 
the truth in this matter. 

Be Cautious. — Let your approach be by degrees 
and oftentimes on some pretext which makes it impos- 
sible for her to know, certainly, that you are particularly 
interested in her. Desist long enough at a time to make 
her doubtful, and if she cares, a little anxious whether 
you mean to return. 

Look into her eyes earnestly, not impudently, in her 
first surprise at meeting you, and catch, if it be there, 
the glow of pleasure sure to come if she has missed you 
and wished for your return. It may be succeeded by 
coldness, but that will not signify if once you have 
detected her genuine emotion of joy. 

It may best serve your purpose however, to assume 
that you accept and recognize only the coldness. Be 
responsive always to her mood; nothing is more flatter- 
ing to her than to seem always led by her wishes, even 



58 GOOD MANNERS. 

when unspoken* No slavish following, but an instinct- 
ive, considerate appreciation, which plainly tells her that 
while you have your own opinion and manner of life, 
you temporarily lay [hum aside for her pleasure, will he 
most effective. Do not be top free to tell her of your- 
self or your affairs. If really interested she will ask 
questions which will make it a pleasure to communicate 
all that is suitable. 

Do not flirt with any lady, hut until ready to avow 
yourself show sufficient interest in all the ladies of your 
acquaintance, to make it impossible for any of them to 
be certain of your preference. 

PRESENTS.— It is not in good taste or well for your 
pocketbook to lavish gifts upon ladies who are but 
friends. And certainly you should not commit yourself 
in any such way. When sufficient time has elapsed to 
assure you of the fitness of your choice, if convinced 
that you are not too like or unlike one another, that you 
are congenial and compatible, and you may fairly 
suppose have a mutual, supreme affection for one 
another, then is the time for a frank spoken avowal. 
Until that time do not weaken the triumph of the final 
moment by any trick of caress or gift. 

Hints to Young Women. 

If haply a lady seeks to know a little more particu- 
larly how she is to maintain the defensive, we will offer 
a few words for her guidance, in some possible contin- 
gencies. 

So negative are your requirements that, once establish 



GOOD MANNERS. 



59 



the fact of your being a true woman, and little remains 
which your never failing woman's tact will not in- 
stinctively resort to. 

Frankness. — To receive all gentlemen with honest 
kindliness and, if you will, with merry freedom, is your 
prerogative. Do not be anxious for the time to come 
when you must closely guard your every look, lest the 
secret of your heart be betrayed. Enjoy the happy, 
care-free privilege of being at all times, everywhere, 
your true self without effort or concealment, as long and 
as fully as possible. 

A perfect treasure in society is the heart-whole, unaf- 
fected, loving girl who beams alike on all and brightens 
by her presence every room and warms every heart. 

But when the troublous time does come and you have 
at last a secret to guard, be still yourself though neces- 
sarily altered, more reserved and shy. 

Modest Reserve. — Never lavish your smiles un- 
sought upon him who has won your affection, but do 
not be afraid to be true in all you do. Do not go to 
him, but when he comes do not pretend you are not at 
least willing to welcome him. 

Avoid Fai.se Modesty. — Sad mistakes and life long 
sorrow have often resulted from a false supposition that 
a woman must never allow a man to even guess that he 
is welcome at her side until he has openly sought her as 
his wife. The truth is never in such a case a matter of 
shame, and should not be so considered. 

If then, you love truly and wisely do not seek to de- 
ceive, although you may not assist your lover in his 



60 GOOD MAX.NKRS. . 

advances. Some playful devices for making him more 
eager in his quest by seeming very hard to win, and 
difficult to please, will only add relish to his pursuit, and 

will not be misunderstood if not foolishly persisted in. 

While hound hy no decided move on his part, which 
your acquiescence in would show that the partiality was 

mutual, be so entertaining and pleasing to all your ac- 
quaintances that he must study you very closely to 
detect any difference in his favor. 

Be not too Easily Won. — Make him work for 
his prize that he may value it accordingly, but do not 
be capricious. Let him gain ground inch by inch and 
feel that having truly granted him any proof of prefer- 
ence, you will not in a different mood " take it all back " 
so long as he deals truly with you. 

These little, unspoken tokens, so eagerly sought and 
shyly granted, are very precious souvenirs in the eyes of 
a true suitor, who asks nothing more tangible until he 
has unreservedly confessed his love, and sought return. 

Very exceptional must be the circumstances which 
can justify a gentleman in giving, or a lady in accepting 
a caress or a gift before the time of perfect understand- 
ing and formal engagement. 

The Test of True Love. — The very poetry of 
courtship is to find yourself and the object of your love 
gradually seeking through ever lessening circles a com- 
mon center of truth and faith by imperceptible but pow- 
erful attraction, so that some beautiful day you look into 
each Other's eyes, clasp each other's hand, and know 
without an interpreter what is in each other's heart. 



CHAPTER XV. 

WEDDINGS. 

A betrothal may be announced by the host at a din- 
ner party given for the purpose, as the guests rise to 
leave the table, after which congratulations follow; or 
the bans may be published in the local columns of the 
daily paper. 

The wedding cards are sent out at least ten days be- 
fore the ceremony. 

The bride leaves the invitations in person, at the resi- 
dence of each invited guest among her calling acquaint- 
ances, sending in with her own card that of her mother 
or chaperone; but she does not enter the house. 

A card or note of invitation to the breakfast or recep- 
tion for special friends should accompany the invitation. 
Admission cards must be inclosed if the ceremony is to 
be at the church. 

In Church. 

A wedding in a church is most formal. Seats are re- 
served for the immediate friends of bride and groom, 
and are marked by white satin ribbon drawn about the 
inclosed pews. 

Ushers meet the bridal party at the door of the 
church. The bridegeoom and his best man are con- 

(61) 



$2 GOOD MANNERS. 

ducted to a retreat, from which they may advance at 
the proper moment to await the bride before the altar. 

When bridesmaids precede the bride, who is escorted 
by father, uncle, or whoever is to give her away, two 
or four little boys, dressed as pages, often follow her to 
bear her train, or baskets of flowers, to strew before her 
as she leaves the altar. 

If the bridesmaids follow the bride, two or four little 
girls precede her, scattering her path to the altar with 
flowers, and the pages are dispensed with. 

The bridesmaids, whether they precede or follow the 
bride, take their places at her left. 

Each of the other ladies of the bridal party is escorted 
by an usher, who offers her his right arm, and places 
her on the left of the main aisle if she is a friend of the 
bride; on the right, if a friend of the groom. 

If the lady is attended by a gentleman he follows her 
to her seat. 

As the bride and bridegroom meet before the altar, 
the gentleman attending the bridegroom takes a place at 
his right. 

A quiet withdrawal after so public a ceremony is in 
best taste, and congratulations are reserved for the re- 
ception at the house of the bride. 

At a Private Residence* 

If the wedding is at a private residence a place is 
prepared for the bride and groom under a floral bell, or 
some other happy device, and white ribbons or woven 



GOOD MANNERS. 63 

flowers are drawn from this selected spot to the foot of 
the stairway, or to the place of waiting. 

The bride may carry the bouquet in the right hand, as 
it rests on the arm of her escort, who goes down the 
stairway slightly in advance of her. 

A fan may be carried in the same manner, if not sus- 
pended by a chatelaine. 

If a gentleman give a lady his left arm in descending 
a stairway, the vexed question of whether she should be 
next to the rail or the wall is easily settled. 

The same order, as nearly as is possible, as at church 
may be observed, or, as is quite common, the little girls 
may precede the bride and groom, who advance arm in 
arm and take their places before the minister. 

The bridegroom should never invite more than one 
gentleman to support him. 

A wedding ring is in readiness to be used by the min- 
ister or the bridegroom, according to the form of 
ceremony. 

During congratulations half of the bridesmaids stand 
at the right of the bride, and half at the left of the 
bridegroom. 

It is not necessary that the bridegroom kiss his bride 
at this critical moment, and the most fastidious insist 
that he should not do so. 

The most intimate friends offer congratulations first. 
The other guests in the order of their intimacy. 

Refreshments, Presents, etc. 
Refreshments are next in order. The bride is called 



6.( GOOD MANN MRS. 

upon to close this part of the program by cutting the 
bride's cake, that it may be partaken of by all, rendered 
doubly valuable because of her service. 

The examination of the wedding presents is the next 
feature in some cases, and then the departure of the 
newly made husband and wife, after which the guests 
disperse. 

The presents should be sent early, if at all, that they 
may be effectively arranged. 

It is perhaps needless to add that wedding presents 
as yet prevail, though regarded as necessary evils by 
most of the recipients. It would be a happy idea if 
those who are to make these presents could confer and 
bring about something better than a collection of du- 
plicate napkin rings, silver castors, etc. 

Only very intimate friends are at liberty to make use- 
ful presents. Many prefer that none should be given. 

Gifts for the bride should be marked with her maiden 
name. Those for the groom with his initial. 

The bride should acknowledge, as early as possible, 
every gift, by note, with her own hand. 

The groom often presents some souvenir to each of 
the bridesmaids and ushers, as fans, rings, canes, scarf 
pins, etc. 

The bride presents bouquets to the bridesmaids, and 
bouttoyinicrcs to the ushers. 

The bridegroom's " best man" attends to all the busi- 
ness and social features of the wedding. 

One of the ushers acts as master of ceremonies, where 
one is needed. The latter is especially useful when 



GOOD MANNERS. 65 

ceremony takes place at a church. He is early at the 
appointed place to see that all is in readiness, and good 
order preserved. He accompanies the bridegroom as. 
he issues from the vestry, and awaits the bride at the 
altar. 

At the time for congratulations ushers offer their 
right arms to ladies to conduct them to the married pair, 
and the gentleman attendants follow. 

The usher presents the lady and her attendant to the 
bride and groom, and then conducts them to the parents 
of the newly wedded pair, introducing them, if not al- 
ready acquainted. 

If the wedding repast is a breakfast, the host sits, with 
the bride at his right side at one end of the table, and 
the hostess, with the groom at her right, at the other. 

After the breakfast, or before the guests take leave, 
the bride and groom quietly withdraw to their dressing 
rooms, without leave-taking, and prepare for their 
journey. 

It is not allowable to ask them questions as to their 
intended trip or future movements. Intimate friends 
may, however, in this, as in all other cases, have a little 
latitude. Common sense and good breeding will draw 
the line. 

At Home Invitations and Announcements. 

" At Home " invitations, for a time not far distant 
from the date of beginning housekeeping, are generally 
sent out soon after the wedding. 
5 



66 GOOD MANNERS* 

Announcements of marriage are issued after an in- 
formal, quiet wedding, as: 

Mr. and Mrs. Clarke Hume 

announce the marriage of their daughter, 

Miss Mary Ethel, 

and 

Mr. Samuel Morris, 

Wednesday, June Twelfth, 1886. 

20 Park Place, Rochester, N. Y. 

Congratulations to the parents and to the bride and 
groom are in order, in response to the announcement. 

Form of invitation for reception given to the bridal 
pair after their return from the bridal trip: 

Mr. and Mrs. Clarke Hume 

At Home 
Tuesday, September Ninth, 
from four to ten d clock. 
20 Park Place. 



GOOD MANNERS. 6? 

A separate card will be inclosed, bearing the name 
of the newly married pair. 

All the guests at a wedding must call upon the family 
of the bride within ten days after the wedding. 

Toilets, 

The bride dresses in white or some delicate tint, and 
is ornamented with natural flowers according to her 
taste. Orange blossoms are no longer a necessity. 

Bridesmaids wear less beautiful costumes than the 
bride, but of delicate colors, with no train. They carry 
flowers and fans. 

The bride's bouquet may consist of lilies-of-the-valley, 
white carnations, and other suggestive and delicate 
blossoms. 

A plain gold ring is so beautiful an emblem of unend- 
ing loyalty that the ring service is greatly in demand. 

Morning dress for gentlemen, i. e. dark coat and 
waistcoat, light trousers, and white necktie, are allowa- 
ble for day weddings. 

Full dress is demanded in the evening of all gentle- 
men present. The groom may wear light gloves, not 
white ones, or none. 



CHAPTER XVI. 

ANNIVERSARIES. 

Birthdays* 

That every life will be enchanted by a halo of delight- 
ful memories, no one can doubt. 

Birthday anniversaries from the earliest age to the 
most mature are valuable way marks, and no one should 
consider the observance of such festivities unworthy of 
attention. 

A little dinner and appropriate gifts will gladden the 
hearts of little ones, and both gifts and feasts may be 
varied with the advancing years. The maturer heart 
will also be warmed and made better by this kind re- 
membrance. 

It is not customary to celebrate birthdays of grown 
people except as a family affair, unless indeed when a 
young man attains his majority, or when some one has 
lived so long as to be proud of his attainment to such an 
estate. 

Gifts, flowers, cards, or letters of congratulation and 
remembrance are always in order for birthday-. 

Marriage Anniversaries. 

The annual return of the wedding day ought always 

(68) 



GOOD MANNERS. 69 

to be noticed in the home circle, but friends outside the 
family are invited to assist only as certain epochs are 
marked by a chosen number of years. 

The wooden wedding is celebrated at the end of five 
years, the tin wedding at the end of ten, crystal after 
twenty years, silver at twenty-five, golden at fifty, and 
diamond at sixty, 

Gifts should be souvenirs only — not house furnishing 
articles. Of course at weddings, anniversaries, etc., very 
intimate friends are privileged to give serviceable gifts, 
but comparative strangers might offend by thus seeming 
to imply a lack, to be supplied by "contribution." 

A good form of invitation is as follows : 

Mr. and Mrs. Silas Black 

request the pleasure of your presence 

on Tues. Eve., Nov. Twentieth, at nine o'clock, 

to celebrate the 

twenty-fifth anniversary of their marriage. 

No gifts received. 1 89 Bradley St. 

The note declining or accepting the invitation should 
contain courteous, not too profuse congratulations. 

Guests who were present at first wedding and gar- 
ments worn then are great acquisitions for an anni- 
versary. 

A prayer returning thanks is offered by the clergy- 



70 GOOD MANNERS. 

man, congratulations follow, and host and hostess lead 
the way to the dining room, or if refreshments are served 
buffet style the bride and bridegroom remain in their 
places during the evening, unless they are called upon 
to lead the first set if there is dancing, which is usually 
a cotillon. 

Guests partake of the refreshments at their pleasure 
and take leave before midnight with good wishes for 
their entertainment expressed at parting. 

After calls are made as after any formal reception. 

Christenings. 

To invite friends to witness the christening of an in- 
fant and to make it both a social and religious ceremony, 
is quite approved at present. 

A reception is often given from three o'clock to six 
P. M. The form is as follows: 

Mr. and Mrs. Bc/chcr Jones 
request the honor of your presence 
at the Cliristening Ceremony of 
their sou (or daughter). 
At five delock, Friday, Dee. 12. 

Reception from three to six. 

7 jlfanchcster St. 



GOOD MANNERS. ^1 

The invitation should receive an early reply. Flowers 
are used quite lavishly. Guests wear reception toilets 
and meet host and hostess as ordinarily at receptions. 
Music is a prominent feature. 

A font is arranged in some conspicuous and convenient 
place; a glass or silver bowl will answer the purpose. 



CHAPTER XVII. 



BUSINESS ETIQUETTE. 



Those who are very busy but are nevertheless genu- 
inely courteous, win all with whom they come in con- 
tact. 

An attentive manner which is not an assumed but real 
expression of interest for the sake of all concerned, self 
included, is a line element in trade. That it is cssoitial 
to success is beyond question. 

Even when there is not the slightest promise of profit 
the same kindness should mark our dealings. 

Often it must need be brief courtesy, however, for it 
is a waste of precious materials to spend much time and 
talk in useless negotiations. 

Dispatch may be rendered gracious by the thought- 
ful kindness of look and tone as well as words. A busi- 
ness man is nothing if he is not expeditious. He is little 
to the purpose if he is not also polite. 

If the genuine heart quality is lacking, every one he 
meets will know of the deficiency, but if he does not at 
least cultivate the form and outward manifestation, his 
success is rendered uncertain. 

In written communication as in speech and action, 
suitable deference and taste must be employed. 

(7*) 



GOOD MANNERS. 73 

It costs no more in time or money to refuse graciously 
than offensively, but some business men cannot even 
grant a request affably, much less refuse it. 

Of course it is important that every business com- 
munication be answered promptly if requiring an answer. 

It is a poor firm which cannot afford machinery 
enough to at least respond, if ever so briefly, to every 
deserving demand upon its attention. It is common to 
have answers ready for many supposable applications. 

An editor or publisher has occasion for a form to the 
effect that "we must decline your article or MS. 
without reference to its merit merely because we cannot 
at present make any use of it. Our refusal need not be 
understood as discouraging, since it has often happened 
in the past as it will in the future, that one periodical may 
have occasion to use an article which another no better 
does not chance to have use for. Thanking you for 
your trouble, etc." 

Other forms may decline as delicately and with fine 
tact manage to make a friend rather than a foe of every 
correspondent. 

Acceptance is so apt to be agreeable per se that less 
skill is necessary in its dictation. "We are pleased to 
accept your proposal" (application or whatever it may 
be), is simple and clear, and as satisfactory usually as a 
page of eulogy. 

To apply in good form is of course worth while. The 
following may be suggestive: 



7| GOOD MANNERS. 

Quincy, III., Nov. i, 18S6. 
Messrs. Blake & Steele, 79 Harold St., 

67 Water St., 

Chicago, 111. 
Messrs: — Having learned through a friend of a 
vacant clerkship at your disposal, I beg you to consider 
me a candidate as I am about to make a change for satis- 
factory reasons. It would gratify me to become identified 
with a firm as reliable and worthy as yours. I am thor- 
oughly familiar with your line of business in every de- 
partment, having some ten years' experience. An early 
answer will be gratefully received. 

Allow me to refer you to my present employers 
Messrs. Edmunds & Banks, 95 State St., this city. 
Yours resp'v, 
(Mr.) J. H. Browne, 

An acceptance or promise to consider the application. 

Chicago, III., Nov. 15, 18S6. 
Mr. J. H. Browne, 

Quincy, 111. 
Dear Sir: — We have no reason to refer as you sug- 
gest us. Your ability is well known to us, and we are 
most happy to secure your services. 

Will be pleased to have you enter at once upon the 
duties of the position. 

The salary will be as formerly, one thousand dollars 
per annum. Very cordially yours, 

Blake &: Steele. 

For a Letter of Credit: 

1S9 Bond St., New York, April 29, 1SS6. 
Messrs. Dunn &Cole: 

Gentlemen: — Please give credit 
to John Mason of this place, to any amount not exceed- 



GOOD MANNERS. 



75 



ing one thousand dollars, and I will hold myself account- 
able to you for the payment of the same in case Mr. 
Mason should not make payment therefor. 

Please notify me of the amount for which you give 
him credit, and in case it is not promptly paid, let me 
know at once. Yours obediently, 

James Thorne. 
Thorne, Wood & Co., 

29 Broadway, N. Y. 

A refusal should be courteously worded. 

Morgan Park, III., August 21, 1886. 
Rev. James Freeman, 

Rockford, 111. 
My Dear Sir: — In reply to yours of the 26th ult,, 
asking a contribution to the society of the Red Cross, 
would say that it would afford me great pleasure to aid 
so worthy a society, which has for its object relief in a 
field where the call is so urgent. But I have had un- 
usual demands upon my time and purse for the past 
year, and lately have subscribed all I can possibly afford 
in aid of our training school for young girls. With 
best wishes for the success of your noble organization, 
I remain very respectfully, 

Maria Sutherland. 



CHAPTER XVIII. 



IUXERALS. 



The custom with regard to funerals is less formal and 
gloomy than in the past Xo fixed usages interfere with 
individual p re fe ren c e . 

The officiating clergyman will probably use the rites 
of his particular church, and some near friend of the 
mourners will arrange the program of public services. 

Friends of the loved dead may if they choose perform 
the sacred duties pertaining to preparation for burial in- 
stead of leaving it to strangers. 

The horror pervading such experiences may be much 
alleviated now by the natural positions chosen for the 
body, the partial profile of the face, and graceful dispo- 
sition of the hands. The clothing should be such as 
was worn in life. 

Thus death is made to resemble sleep, and half its ter- 
ror is removed. 

The services may take place while the deceased lies 
'lined in the room which is inviting and fragrant 
with choice flowers in not too great abundance. 

The burial may follow as is most convenient. All 
e matters are left to the expressed wish of the be- 
reaved ones. 

(76) 



GOOD MANNERS. 77 

Flowers in any set form, or in excess, are not in good 
taste, and lest such should be provided thoughtlessly by 
friends, the request of "No flowers" is often added to an 
announcement of a funeral. 

Six or eight gentlemen are chosen from friends of the 
deceased to act as "bearers of the pall," or as is generally 
preferred, as a guard which attends the removal of the 
body by persons detailed to this duty. 

The pall bearers stand by with lifted hats if they do 
not themselves carry the dead to and from the hearse. 

The final leavetaking of the loved one by the friends 
should never be public, nor should they be visible, 
though within hearing during the services. 

It is no longer considered necessary to guard this 
sleep of death during the nights that precede burial. 

As soon as we are made aware of the death of an ac- 
quaintance or neighbor, we may call and inquire kindly 
for the family, leaving a card with the left side or lower 
corner folded over, but should never ask to see the be- 
reaved unless great intimacy makes it excusable. 

Cards and bouquets may be sent by any who have any 
claim to the acquaintance or friendship of the famity. 
But letters of condolence or sympathy are happily tor- 
tures now no longer to be perpetrated. 

Only those most intimate and certain that their words 
would be welcome should presume upon a personal in- 
terview or written words of sympathy. 

Costumes. 

All who attend funeral services should be plainly at- 
tired in black or dark clothing. 



7> S GOOD MANNERS. 

Pall hearers are provided with black kid gloves for 
the funeral of an elderly person or gentleman, and 
white for a young lady. 

Also a scarf of black crape or pure white linen to 
tie about the left arm or about the shoulders. 

A widow wears a plain black costume of crape and 
bombazine or Henrietta cloth. The bonnet may have 
a border of white lisse. 

Her face should be covered when in public by the 
long crape veil for several months, at least three. After- 
ward by a short one of tulle while the long one is thrown 
back w aid. 

A widower wears as mourning a black or very dark 
grey suit, with black gloves, necktie, and deep weed 
upon the hat. 

One year is the shortest time of mourning in such a 
case. 

Mourning as expressed by dress need not exceed for 
brothers or sisters six months of crape and bombazine. 
Afterward cashmere, unlustered silks, etc. Later black, 
white and grey tints. 

Parents for children and children for parents, gener- 
ally dress in deep mourning for a year at least. Young 
children, however, should be less somberly dressed than 
older ones. 

Mingling in general society and festivities should not 
be for some time after the death of a member of the 
family. Two years is the usual limit. 



CHAPTER XIX. 

RIDING, DRIVING, ARCHERY, LAWN TENNIS. 

The etiquette of riding- and driving is found in a few 
important suggestions, as follows : 

Always keep to the right. Always mount a horse 
on the near, or left side. 

The lady, when ready to mount, places herself on the 
near side of the horse, holding her skirt gathered up in 
her left hand, her right on the saddle. She places her 
left foot in the right hand of her escort, who, after assisting 
her to her place, puts her foot in the stirrup, arranges 
her skirt, and then is ready to mount his horse. 

The gentleman always keeps to the right of the lady 
or ladies riding with him, attends to all such things as 
the opening of gates, and in fact anticipates every need 
of his lady partner. 

No one in riding in company with others should 
touch another's horse, or even his own, with a whip, or 
take any method of increasing the speed of his horse, 
unless he is positive that the other horses are accus- 
tomed to like treatment, and the riders desire to use it. 
A gentleman should, if need be, place his hand on the 
bridle of his lady partner's horse, if the rider is at all 
timid, especially when changing to a different gait. 

(79) 



8o cool) .MA\.\h 

It is not in order to turn back with friends you may 
meet on horseback, or to join friends you may overtake, 

unless positive that your company will be agreeable. 

If a gentleman on horseback meets a lady who is 
walking, he must dismount if he wishes to converse 

with her, and lead his horse while walking- with her in 
whatever direction she is going. 

In entering a carriage, the lady is helped to a place 
on the seat facing the horses. One should so enter the 
carriage as to avoid turning around when inside. The 
gentleman quits the vehicle first, and helps the lady out. 

It is not in good taste to drive at great speed when in 
company with ladies. 

A lady in leaving a carriage places her hands on the 
gentleman's shoulders, while he places his under her 
elbows 

LAWN TENNIS. 

Description of the Game. 

For lawn tennis a smooth, level ground, thirty feet 
wide at the base lines (end lines), twenty-four feet wide 
at the center, where the net is placed, and seventy-eight 
feet in length, is required. 

The set should consist of four racquets, four India 
rubber balls, two and one-fourth inches in diameter, one 
and one-half ounces in weight, and a net, attached to 
two posts, twenty-four feet apart, at a height of five 
feet from the ground at the posts, and sagging so as to 
be only four feet from the ground at the center. 

The ground is divided lengthwise by a central line 



GOOD MANNERS, 8l 

into the "right court" and « left court." The courts are 
divided by a " service line," drawn parallel to the base 
lines, at a distance of twenty-six feet from the net. 

The game is played by forming sides, each taking 
one side of the net, and choice of center decided by 
spinning a racquet in the air, while one on the other 
side calls out " Rough " or " Smooth " before it falls to 
the ground. The side which loses the choice of courts 
has the preference for beginning " hand in " or " hand 
out." 

" Hand in " is the one who begins the game, striking 
the ball so that it shall pass over the net and come to 
the ground in the diagonally opposite court, between 
the opponent's service line and the net. (" Hand in " 
stands while thus serving or striking the ball with one 
foot on either side his base line.) 

If the ball is served into the wrong court or beyond 
the "service line," a "fault" is made. 

" Hand in " becomes " hand out " (his opponent be- 
coming server) when he serves the ball outside the 
court or makes two successive "faults," or when he 
fails so to return the ball that it shall fall into one of his 
opponent's courts. When " hand in " makes a good 
service, " hand out," who is guarding the court, at- 
tempts to strike the ball with his racquet so as to return 
it over the net into either of hand-in's courts. " Hand 
in" may then strike the ball before it bounds ("volley it"), 
or after it has bounded once, returning it again within 
hand-out's courts, and then " hand out " has like privi- 
leges with it. 



82 GOOD MANNERS. 

The ball can thus be Struck hack and forth over the 
net until one or the other fails to return it, and sends it 
outside the opponent's courts, or allows it to touch his 
clothes or person. 

If " hand out " or his partner fail to make a " good 
return," or if the service is volleyed, one point is scored 
for " hand in." "Hand in" then again serves the ball 
(serving from his courts alternately), and if his service 
and returns are good until " hand out " fails to make a 
good return, another point is scored for " hand in," and 
he continues until he fails. 

If " hand in " fail to make good service or return, or 
makes two successive faults, no point is scored, and the 
opponent becomes server. 

The side wins the game which scores fifteen points. 

If both sides reach fourteen, the game is called 
"deuce." 

A new point, termed " vantage," is then resorted to, 
and either side, to score a game, must win two points in 
succession, called u vantage " and u game." 

When a ball drops on any line, it is considered to 
have dropped in the court aimed at or bounded by the 
line, and is considered good service or return, even if 
the ball touched the net or a post in passing over them. 

Etiquette of Archery, Lawn Te)inis and Croquet 

Parties. 

These may be given at one's home, or at some suit- 
able and pleasant spot selected for the purpose. Writ- 
ten invitations are sent out about two weeks in advance. 



GOOD MANNERS. 83 

Refreshments should be provided in abundance, 
enough for any extra guests who might chance to join the 
party. Send the provisions early and in separate con- 
veyance, in care of servants, who will have all things in 
readiness before the arrival of the party. 

Have the conveyances in readiness at some appointed 
place, that the guests may proceed in a body to the 
grounds. Covered carriages are essential, to protect 
from dust or rain. An omnibus is often preferred, as 
keeping the party together, and rendering the excursion 
more merry. 

Light, inexpensive costumes should be worn, and 
little restraint farther than simple good breeding insisted 
upon. 



CHAPTER XX. 

SPECIAL SUGGESTIONS FOR GENTLEMEN. 

Avoid familiarity as one of the surest evidences of ill 
breeding. Do not greet a gentleman with a rough slap 
or loud tone. Never speak your friend's name when 
greeting him in public. 

Never smoke in the presence of ladies, even if certain 
of gaining permission by asking it. 

Do not converse during the rendering of music, or 
at any time or in any place where to do so shows indif- 
ference and is hence insulting. 

If possible to do so provide for another who has just 
entered the room some other than the chair you have 
just risen from. 

Be careful not to take the easiest chair or one belong- 
ing to an aged person. 

Remove your hat when handing a lady to her car- 
riage or rendering her any assistance whatever. 

Do not hesitate to respectfully inform a lady of the 
fact if when in your company anything about her dress 
is out of order, nor to re-adjust it gracefully with her 
permission. 

When walking or riding with a ladv, you are not 
expected to notice gentlemen with whom she is not 

(84) 



GOOD MANNERS. 85 

acquainted. To converse with them would be wholly 
out of order. Shorten your step when walking with 
a lady. Never read in company or consult your watch. 

Practice upon mother and sisters the courtesy of 
always getting them a chair, picking up anything they 
drop, etc., that you may do it gracefully for other 
ladies because it has become habitual. 

Never assume an air of superiority in the presence 
of those less fortunate than yourself. 

Special Hints to Ladies. 

Few things would be more conducive to a new and 
better era of " Good Manners" than that ladies should 
wholly refrain from gossip. It is an ugly practice, 
and rightly deserves an ugly name. No lady should 
ever indulge in this so prevalent sin. 

The lack of many subjects certain to interest a 
caller seems to make it allowable to discuss the char- 
acter and personal appearance of an acquaintance, but 
it is a most hurtful failing and a double-bladed instru- 
ment, injuring the one who uses it not less than the 
intended victim. It is one of woman's besetting sins 
to thus malign others and demoralize herself. 

Another, arising also from a limited fund of interest- 
ing information and much leisure, is the too great pas- 
sion for dress. 

Do not let it be apparent to others that you are 
much concerned about your own toilet or that of others. 

Well bred women will at least affiear utterly un- 
mindful of such things out of their private rooms. 



86 GOOD MANNER-. 

Sec to it before leaving your room that you arc per- 
fectly presentable, and then give no thought nor glance. 
Always be punctual to a second in keeping an engage- 
ment. 

To be kept waiting for any one or any thing, es- 
pecially when there is no need whatever of such delay, 
is excessively annoying. 

Never allow yourself to betray a desire to seem mas- 
culine in your tastes. It is as disgusting to see a gen- 
tleman trying to be ladylike. 

Let your language, dress and manners be essen- 
tially womanly. 

On the other hand, if you are required by circum- 
stances beyond your control to do business, or take 
for the time a man's place, do it as it should be done, 
without a blush or a simper. 

Necessity justifies you, and nothing could be more 
ridiculous than to falter or " fuss" about it. 

For the sake of such emergencies be informed as to 
all the necessary transactions of life liable to fall to 
any woman's lot, and then you can fearlessly perform 
your duty and be honored for doing it as it should be 
done. 

Seek to be "missionaries to the future," more par- 
ticularly than in any other way by constantly raising 
the standard of womanly excellence and endeavor. 

Help every one you come m contact with by every 
word you utter and every act you perform, but es- 
pecially help vour fellow women upward and onward. 



CHAPTER XXL 

HINTS TO THE UNINITIATED. 

Those not to the manner born may nevertheless 
acquire, if patient and persevering, what the favored few 
inherit or at least inbreathe from the refined atmosphere 
which surrounds them from infancy. 

There is no influence so silent yet so pure as that 
which pervades a home of culture. 

Like all other hills of difficulty, however, that of lack 
in this direction may be surmounted by any and every 
earnest advocate of self improvement. Let it be your 
pride so to polish your manners by careful attention to 
every detail that soon no one could possibly detect the 
fact that your advantages have been few as compared 
with those about you. It does not require a great 
amount of time to master all the theory and practice of 
the vital principles of etiquette. 

A genuine desire to be pleasing and helpful to all 
with whom you are thrown in contact will itself be a 
constant guide in the right direction. To be courteous, 
never familiar, is one of the first rules. Those who are 
not accustomed to society in its formal character are apt 
to go to the extreme of being familiar if attempting to 
make themselves agreeable. 

(87) 



SS GOOD MANNERS. 

This betrays you at once. You may not notice that 
you have blundered because no well-bred person will 
allow you to read in his face or manner the repugnance 
you thus awaken, but it is a fatal mistake. You will 
never be tolerated in the best society if you indulge in 
such freedom, though money may buy you a forced 
recognition in so called upper circles. Reserve and 
formality are your safest resorts if not wholly at your 
ease. Any lack will thus be best concealed, and many 
a virtue and grace will ever be attributed to the tactician 
who thus retires from too close scrutiny. Never affect 
anything except indeed the above mentioned qualities. 
Do not try to have any one think you learned or ac- 
complished. 

You cannot safely carry out such an impression, and 
disclosure will render you pitiably wretched. Assume — 
very quietly — to know nothing whatever. Then all 
the knowledge your conversation betrays will have 
ready welcome. Loud assumption of ignorance is as 
offensive as a similar assumption of knowledge, and is a 
most apparent attempt to buy admiration. 

Hence do not commit yourself in either direction 
when it is unnecessary. 

Let what you say or do rest on a safe foundation 
of knowledge and experience, and forbear from all else 
until sure of your ground. 

Self Respect. 

The fact that humility and docilitv are always most 
marked in those who know the most is a <rrand shield 



GOOD MANNERS. 89 

for the sensible, but in many respects ignorant persons 
who must mingle in society and engage in conversation 
with the learned. 

Seem very humble about your own acquirements and 
opinions, anxious to learn from others, eager to listen to 
the gifted ones you meet. 

Never be abject. Maintain an attitude of reserved 
independence. 

One other betrayer of your social standing as fatal as 
familiarity is that of a mean-spirited craving for the 
notice and favor of the fortunate few. 

Never prostrate yourself in the presence of any one 
for any purpose. Carry yourself as though you had 
the full measure of self respect, and need beg the atten- 
tion of no one. 

Any social, political or business advantage bought by 
flattery and self abasement is always dearly purchased, 
and the end seldom gained, even then. 

Reserve must not be carried to haughtiness, or the re- 
sult is to destroy all we seek to gain. 

The head held too high and with averted eyes is 
quickly recognized to be an empty one, which keeps 
company with a false heart. Such a disguise is too well 
known to be mistaken for an indication of good social 
standing. 

Those who are perfectly sure of their standing can 
afford to be affable, and generally are. Hence we sus- 
pect supercilious persons of belonging to the newly 
made rich or the snobbish poor. 

The truly dignified are often most pliable and genial, 



OD MANNEH 

because their character and position is so well assured 

that they do not fear to he merry and friendly. 

Then if youwish to take among others the place you 
ciave hut are not wholly fitted for, seek to be wise in 
B matter- BO essential to that position — the golden 
mean between these extrem 

It is right that you should seek a >ocial stand- 

ing. You can never improve in the society of the un- 
learned and low bred. 

Then take the highest place you can, and maintain it 
modestly yet fearlessly. 

■-son a I Appearance. 

Your personal appearance should claim your careful 
thought, for it is the index finger which challenges the 
criticism of every stranger. 

Friends will willingly or unwillingly e short- 

comings in dress and outward appearance, but strangers 
have only that to guide them in an estimate of char- 
acter. It is rude and lazy in the extreme to appear out- 
side your own room in untidy or unsuitable at: 

Expensive clothing is not essential, but neat and t 
dress 

The l also should make the best po- 

ing of cleanlinc 

The hand-, if soiled even a little, and the nails by 
being uncared for, may settle the matter of your 1 
a gentleman orlady y at once, for a person who see- 
for the first time in a poor plight in these particulars. 

It is not difficult to discover whether one is in the 



GOOD MANNERS. 91 

habit of indulging in the daily bath and free use of good 
toilet soap. It certainly increases our respect if the evi- 
dence in this direction is favorable. Shocking, yet true, 
it is that so-called ladies sometimes appear in public 
with soiled neck and ears, the effect heightened by lace 
of corresponding tint, or by contrast when the neck 
dress is delicate and white. 

Gentlemen often offend by failing to dust their cloth- 
ing properly, especially the coat about the shoulders. 
They comb the hair and forget to remove the traces of 
the fact that this little toilet duty was performed after 
putting on the coat. 

Few things can so disgust every one as any odor 
which belongs to uncleanness of clothing or person, yet 
even among civilized persons of quite considerable pre- 
tensions this is not wholly unknown. There are disin- 
fectants which have a place in every toilet case, and 
should be used in connection with the bath to remove 
any lingering trace of excessive perspiration. Am- 
monia is easily procured, and is effective. Cosmoline 
(carbolized) is good for the feet. If neither of these 
will subdue that never to be endured odor which so 
many men and some women are so unhappy as to emit 
from their feet, a small piece of saltpeter added to the 
daily foot bath (tepid) will hasten its departure. 

No one can seem wholesome and clean who wears 
the same clothing night and day. One who is too indo- 
lent or too indigent to own and use a night garment 
dedicated to the promotion of cleanliness and health, is 
to be pitied. 



92 GOOD MANNBH 

Never wear a scrap of the day clothing at night 

Few can indulge in entire suits of fresh garments each 

day, but all can give those used in the daytime a rest 
and an ailing each night 

One ought to bathe and change under garments at 

least twice a week. Once a week is the least frequent 
observance of these duties to he tolerated. 

Dentists can testify to the neglect of the teeth. They 
should be cleaned after each meal. 

Inasmuch as health is so wedded to cleanliness few cry 
out against the latter, even if they are negligent about 
it, but in the matter of dress some otherwise sensible per- 
sons are very silly. It is a positive duty to dress well. 

We insult those w r hose company we frequent if our 
dre^s would make them blush for us. We have no right 
to prove an infliction, an unsightly thing to our friends. 
It is not vanity but mere decency to wear good and suit- 
able clothes. 

Indifference in these things often accompanies indiffer- 
ence in morals, and hence has come to be considered 
an indication of laxity in that direction. 

The straightforward, manly character can have no 
sympathy with slouched hat and bagging, careless 
clothes, and will not affect them in company. There is 
a golden mean between a dude and a ruffian as to dress. 
Ladies should be even more careful in dress than gentle- 
men, as they are supposed (often falsely) to be less busy, 
and are more severely criticised. 

The toilet case should be provided with every cleanly, 
dainty appliance possible. 



GOOD ivi^NNERS. 



93 



Be certain to buy the best toilet soap — pure Castile for 
the bath, and something as good for face and hands. 

Provide yourself with flesh brush, nail brush as well 
as tooth brush and hair brush. Have good bathing tow- 
els which will bring the ruddy glow after bathing, 
which testifies restored circulation. Good tooth powder 
such as any first class druggist will sell you should be 
used gently on your teeth. Brush the hair thoroughly 
night and morning. Sit during this performance. 

Cutting the ends of the hair once a month has a good 
effect. 

The head should be washed every evening. A little 
ammonia in the water is beneficial. 

The yolk of an egg beaten up in warm water is an 
excellent application. 

Dress. 

In the matter of dress a lady who is not versed in 
the fashion notes of the day may nevertheless be well 
dressed if she uses good common sense in her selections, 
and is willing to be very careful in making her toilet. 
Carelessness is inexcusable. 

Lavater has said: "Young women who neglect their 
toilet and manifest little concern about dress, indicate a 
general disregard of order, a mind but ill adapted to 
the details of housekeeping, a deficiency of taste and of 
the qualities that inspire love." 

Do not try to be particularly stylish. Select quiet 
colors — either black or white will be stylish at any time 



94 GOOD MANNERS* 

nearly, and can be simply made to suit any complexion 
or figure. 

Do not buy any thing which you are assured is the very 

latest out. Remember the excellent advice so familiar 
to all: " Be not the first to try the new, nor yet the last 
to lay the old aside." 

A plain dress of good material made in a manner 
which will not attract attention as being old-fashioned 
or new-fashioned, but simply all right; a hat or bon- 
net which is also free from any striking peculiarity; 
good shoes, well blackened and not too small; and good 
gloves which fit the hand perfectly, make up a lady's 
toilet. We scarcely need hint that dainty lace or fresh 
linen are indispensable accompaniments. 

Gentlemen should not be duped into buying garments 
unsuitable for their business or calling in life. 

The figure also must be taken into account. A very 
short man may make himself ridiculous in a close-fitting 
and too long frock coat, and a tall man may be similarly 
made up in a sack coat with short sleeves and insufficient 
length. 

The barber often plays serious practical jokes upon 
the unsophisticated vouth or older gent by trimming 
hair and beard in a manner suitable for a professional 
man of the most distinguished type. Never allow your- 
self to be made to look like what you are not. Who 
wishes to be a caricature? 

Place has much to do with dress as a matter of course. 

Woolen garments of loose lit and simplest cut are 
suitable for the watering place. For travel something 



GOOD MANNERS. 95 

equal to any emergency, change of weather, etc., should 
be worn. 

No man aspiring to the name of gentleman will be 
guilty of standing where ladies are obliged to pass 
him and staring at them. 

Never shout to attract the attention of a person at a 
distance from you; bow or wave your hand. 

The gent should go ahead if when a gent and lady 
are walking together it becomes necessary for them to 
walk singly. 

A gentleman who wishes to appear well on horse- 
back should remember the rhyme: 

" Keep up your head and your heart, 
Your hands and your heels keep down ; 

Press your knees close to your horse's side, 
And your elbows close to your own." 

Country gentlemen, and some who have less excuse, 
when taking ladies for a carriage drive are often guilty 
of the great rudeness of driving very rapidly or in 
dangerous places, willing to sacrifice the feelings of those 
who have intrusted themselves to their protection rather 
than lose an opportunity for display of skill and daring. 

Conversation. 

Never tell boastful stories of your feats in any direc- 
tion. If you tell stories make some one else the hero. 

If you tell anything you think comical or if you per- 
petrate a joke, let others do all the laughing. 

Avoid puns, slang, and trite proverbs. 



()iy OD MANNEB 

Do not try to introduce words from another language, 
even if you do know a few. 

Never be quick to take offense or to retort. 

Never whisper ill company. 

Do not allow yourself to use such expressions as a as 
you might say," " so to speak," etc. 

Do not exclaim " oh, say!" "pshaw!" "you don't 
say," "Did I ever?" etc. 

Never say " party " for u person." 

Never be guilty of imitating any peculiarity or in- 
firmity of another to excite ridicule or merriment. 

It is very improper when you are in the house of a 
friend or acquaintance to speak of things transpiring 
there, which you have nothing to do with. 

We should be very cautious about asking questions at 
any time, lest we be meddlesome. Nor should we 
answer questions which are not directly addressed to us. 

If possible avoid ever asking a person to repeat a re- 
mark made in your hearing. 

Avoid exaggeration. 

Never enter into disputes in company. 

While we should never talk above those with whom 
we are conversing, neither should we ever seem to lower 
our tone of conversation for the benefit of others. 

We are in danger of making some mistakes by so 
doing. 

Wen often treat women to small talk, which is the 
abomination of any sensible person, as it is too late in 
the world's history to safely assume that a woman is 
ignorant and stupid. 



GOOD MANNERS. 97 

When making formal calls never begin to talk of 
things which would lead to prolonged conversation, but 
so order your talk and so bear in mind the flight of time 
that you will be brief and yet agreeable in all you say. 
Go promptly and quietly without any reference to the 
time. 

Do not look at a clock or watch when making or re- 
ceiving a call, or show any nervousness. 

If you do not find the person at home upon whom 
you intended to call, and have no card to leave, ask the 
servant to mention that you called. Give your name 
distinctly. 

Never call later than nine o'clock in the evening, nor 
stay longer than ten. 

If you by chance call where there is a party show 
no uneasiness, but act as you would if you had been in- 
vited, until the time of a very brief call has elapsed, 
then quietly excuse yourself and withdraw. Never de- 
lay your going after having risen to take leave. 

If you are away from home in a place where a friend 
resides and wish to call, go first to a hotel, and do not 
remove to the friend's house without an invitation to 
do so. 

When visiting a friend conform to all the usages of 
the house, and make the least trouble possible. Do not 
extravagantly praise other places visited, lest in contrast 
you give offence. If you make presents to the children 
or servants let them be inexpensive. Costly gifts place 
friends under obligations to you to an unpleasant degree. 



/ 



A 

PAGE. 

Afternoon Calls 27 

1 ' Gatherings 45 

Announcement Forms 3S, 66 

At Home 41, 65, 66 

Application for Situation 74 

Archery Parties 82 

An Acceptance 74 

B 

Boarding Schools 9 

Borrowing. 10 

Balls 49 

Bachelors 51 

Blushing 57 

Birthdays 68 

Bouttonnieres . 64 

Bathing 92 

Business Etiquette 72 

" Success 7 2 

C 

Congratulations 63, 65, 66 

Culture, Home * 5 

Callers, How to Receive. . . . . 27 

Careless Habits 6 

Dress 93 

Courtesy, School 6 

(99) 



lOO INDI \. 

PAGE. 

Conversation u, 13, 95 

Criticism 11 

Calls iS, 27, 97 

Cards, Calling 24 

11 Adieu 24 

11 Wedding 25 

" Menu 43 

1 ' Funeral 

Courtship , 55 

Crystal Wedding 69 

Christenings 70 

Cleanliness 90 

D 

Decorum, Home 6 

School 6 

Dinner Ceremonies 42 

41 Deliberation at 12 

Duty of Guests 42 

11 of Host and Hostess 42 

Debut iS 

1 4 Reception 1 S 

Driving 79, 95 

Discretion 56 

Dancing 50 

Decorating Ball Room 49 

Dignity, True S9 

Diamond Wedding (>9 

E 

Escort of Lady in Street 16 

Etiquette, School 9 

Street 15 

of Out-door Sports S2, S3 

Extravagance in Dress , 54 

Ease, lack of SS 



INDEX. IOI 

PAGE. 

V 

Forms of Invitation to Reception 37 

1 ' of Acceptance 37 

11 of Invitation to Greet Returning Bridal Party 66 

" to meet Distinguished Guest 34 

Formal Breakfast 47 

Flirting 58 

Frankness • • 59 

Funerals 76, 77 

Figure, the 94 

G 

Greetings 16, 22 

Guests, School 7 

■ ' Wedding 69 

Golden Wedding 69 

Gentlemen's Parties 51 

H 

Hostess's New Year's Invitations 30 

Hints to Young Men 55, 84 

" to " Women .«. . .58, 85 

to the Uninitiated 87 

Horseback riding 79, 95 

Haughtiness 89 

Hospitality 27 

Handshaking 21 

I 

Introductions 14, 15, 20, 21 

Invitation to Christening. ... 70 

" Call 21 

" " Visit 29 

" " Kettle Drum. 33 

" Wedding 61 

" " Musicale 53 

" Ball 49 



102 INDEX. 

PAGE. 

X 

Knife and Fork, use of 13 

Kettle Drum 39, 47 

Lack of Manners : 8 

I .eavetaking 48 

Luncheons, Toilet, Courses 48 

Lawn Tennis So 

Letter of Credit 74 

" " Refusal 75 

M 

Musicales, Private 52 

Marriage 55 

Meals 12, 13 

Monograms, etc 36 

Modesty 59 

Master of Ceremonies 64 

IT 

Neatness. . .. 9 

Napkin, use of 13 

New Year's Calls 30 



Order in Home. , 6 

P 

Politeness, True 5, 16 

Proofs of Culture 1 1 

Preparation for Debut iS 

Presents - 5S 

Personal Appearance 90 

R 

Receptions, Home 45 

Riding 79 



INDEX. I03 

PAGE. 

Rules for Children. 8 

Reserve 59 

s 

Staring 7, 95 

Suspicion 11 

Strangers in Town .... 19 

Silver Wedding 69 

Self Control 56 

" Respect 88 

T 

Toilet, Boarding School 11 

" Dancing 50 

11 Bridal 67 

" Bridesmaids 67 

" Theater e 53 

" Dinner t 43 

* ' Gentlemen's 94 

Tokens of Friendship 25, 26 

Terms Omitted in Invitations 33 

Tennis, Lawn 82 

Test of True Love 60 

Theater Parties 53, 54 

Treatment for Feet 91 

Teeth 92 

Table, Etiquette 12 

Things to be Avoided 96 

V 
Visiting 28, 97 

Weddings in Church 61 

Private 62 

" Ring I 63, 67 

M Anniversaries 68 

" Wooden 69 



NOTHING BETTER 



man tno 
SCRAP HOOK RECITA- 
TION SERIES. 



Now Ready, No. 1. 

Price, postpaid, Paper, 26 cents. 

41 The selections are choice in quality and in large variety. "-- 

I 7, Chic ;;. 

,k It excels anything we have seen for the purpose. 1 ' — Bel 

; ' r. 
u The latest and best things from our popular writers appear 
here. ' ' — Norm a I Teacher. 



CONTENTS OF NO. 1. 



Keep the Mill A-goiug. 

The T 

Exuviae Unction. 

. s Death. 
Words ami Their Ue 
Fritz's Troubles. 
Two Chris) i 
An Interview Between the School 

Directors and the Janitor. 
To the Memory of the late BrigKam 
Vo ing. 

Liab and I Parted. 
Old Grimes 1 Hen. 
The Average Modern Traveler. 
At Mv Mother's Grave. 
Debt. 

b pated Husband. 
the Point. 

1 he I 

eiheimcr'* M>*take. 
lime. 
. 
The Old 8 

B 
Pat'- 
IIow to Go to Sleep. 

rd. 
ad — 1787. 

- b gallant Bark. 
Birthday Gifts. 
The S Man. 

len. 



The Water that Has Passed. 
Medley — Marys Little Lamb. 
The Launch of the Ship 
Aunt Kindly. 
Evening at the Farm. 
Battle of Beal An 1 Duine. 

way. 
Mark Twain and the Interviewee 
Daybreak. 
True Life. 

:i Loyalty. 
Unfinished Still: 
Allow tor the Crawl. 
The Silent Tower of Bottreaux. 
Gentility. 
The Drunkard. 
The Poetical Patch Quilt. 
What - 
Art Thou Living Yet? 

Bong of the Chimney. 
A Domestic Tent] 
Comm 

celled it. 
■ I Man in the Palace Car. 

: Picture. 

A Penitent. 
Hum's Ruin. 

What [sit to Me! 
Our First Commander. 
idish. 

The Doom of Claudius and Cynthia. 



For sale by all booksellers, or sent postpaid on receipt of price. 



NOTHING BETTER 



THAN THE 

SCBAP-BOOIT 



RECITATION SERIES. 
PRICE POST-PAID, PAPER, 25c. 

" The selections are fresh, pure, and elevating."— Missouri Teacher. 

CONTENTS OF No. 2. 

Albert Drecker, Pathetic Thomas J. Hyatt 3 

Better in the Morning, Pathetic Rev. Leander S. Coan 6 

Slue Sky Somewhere Vera 9 

Wounded, Battle Poem J. W. Watson H 

Papa's Letter, Pathetic 14 

Grandfather's Reverie, Pathetic ' Theodore Parker 16 

The Old Village Choir Ben,). F. Taylor 18 

At the Party Elizabeth Stuart Phelps 19 

Romance at Home, Humorous Fanny Fern 21 

The Legend of the Organ Builder Harper's Magazine 22 

I Vaeh So Glad I Vash Here, very Humorous 25 

Der Bog und der Lobster, Humorous Saul Sertrew 26 

What Was His Creed? , 28 

Dedication of Gettysburg Cemetery Abraham Lincoln 29 

Time Turns the Table, Excellent 30 

The Man Who Hadn't Any Objection, Humorous 32 

The Soldier's Mother, Sentimental 33 

" Be Pervisions, Josiar." Humorous 34 

A Response to Beautiful Snow, Sentimental Sallie J. Hancock 35 

The Defence of Lucknow, Heroic Tennyson 36 

A Model Discourse, Humorous 41 

My Darling's Shoes 43 

The Volunteer Soldiers of the Union Robert G. Ingersoll 44 

Life, Compilation Mrs. H. A. Darning 46 

The Old-Fashioned Mother 47 

De 'Sperience ob de Reb'rend Quacko Strong, Humorous 48 

A Heart to Let 5b 

Jimmy Butler and the Owl, Humorous Anonymous 51 

Presentiments, Pathetic T. S. Denison &. 

Eloquence or Oratory 56 

Raising the Flag at Sumter Henry Ward Beecher 57 

Parrhasius and the Captive N. P. Willis 59 

Portent Celia Thaxter 62 

He Wasn't Ready, Humorous 63 

The Old Clock in the Corner Eugene J. Hall 64 

An Illustration, Fine Description Rev. Philip Krohn, D. B. 66 

The Seven Stages Anonymous 68 

The Bells of Shandon Francis Mahony 69 

Circumlocution on The House that Jack Built, Fine 71 

The Brakeman goes to Church, Humorous Burdette 73 

Address to Class of '77, Knox College President Bateman 75 

Bay Billy, Battle Incident Frank H. Gassaway 76 

The Flood and the Ark, Humorous Darkey Sermon 82 

The Steamboat Race Mark Twain 85 

Battle of Gettysburg Chas. F. Ward 90 

A Connubial EcPogue, Humorous J. G. Saxe 93 

The Chambered Nautilus Oliver W. Holmes 95 

Ascent of Fu-si-Yama — Dora Sctioonmaker Soper 96 

The Musician's Tale, Splendid Sea Tale Longfellow 98 

Vera Victoria H. M. Soper 104 

Ruining tan Minister's Parrot, very Funny 106 

Vke *jish ?\Aos9pher, Humorous ... 109 



NOTHING BETTER 



THAN THE 

SCHAP-EOOK 

RECITATION SERIES, 



PRICE POST-PAID. PAPER COVER, 25c. 



"There is such ft variety of prose and poetry, pathos, fun and narrative as I 
not often found in the compass of one small book." — Practical Teacher, 



CONTENTS OF No. 3. 

Flash— The Fireman's Story Will Carletot 

A Smooth Path Millie C. Romero} 

The '1 hree Friends, Humorous Burdett\ 

Mosses— Earth's Humblest Children J. Jiuskin 

The Nineteenth Century Teacher, Humorous 

The Blind Man and his Candle, A Fable J. G. Saxi 

A Thunder Storm, Fine Description A. P. Millei 

He Wouldn't Hush, Humorous 

The Hells Edf ar A. Pot 

The Blacksmith of Bottle Dell James Maurice Thompson 

What Farmer Green Said 

Napoleon at Rest J. Pierponi 

Benedict Arnold's Death-bed George EifparA 

Soliloquy, Humorous By a Girl of the PerwA 

One Cent and Costs, Humorous Boston Globe 

Poet and Painter Miss J I. R, Hudson 

Maud Mulier's Moving, Humorous 

What is Ambition? Fine Description N. P. Willis 

Kentucky Philosophy, Very Funny Harper s Monthly 

The Problem of Life, Fine Theodore Tilt'on 

Praise of Little Women, Excellent //. W. Longfellow 

Address to Class of '77 National School of Oratory Pres. Shoemaker 

Rizpah, Fine Pathos Mrs. Lucy Blinn 

I *s1 Charge of Ney J. T. tUadiev 

Decoration Day Speech, Fine Oration Col. R. G. In^ersoll 

Soldier' Re-union Dr. F. S. Rennett 

Music Hath Charms, Humorous Rock 'and Courier Gazette 

Ami Life Wuf de Li Din? Comic Detroit Free Press 

The Diamond Wedding 

I he Palace. Descriptive T.S. Deni>on 

Driving a Cow, Humorous Burlington Haivkeye 

A. Condensed Novel 

God Wills It So. A Plea and Answer, Temperance 

Mr. ftfiddlerib'a Experiment or Movement Cure for Rheu- 
matism, Humorous Burlington IL. 

Medley '• -H- M- Sofer 

Vat Von Please, Humorous Wm. B. FcrwU 

Opportunity for Effort George R. Kussell 

Battle oi C.mna ■, Fine Description Eben Hale Wells 

Pierre 1 .1 I on Eva Katherine Mink 

QuOUSquC Tan. Kin O'Catalina? Humorous Re: . A. L. F'isbie 

Deacon Kent in Politics, Pint Rate Rev. A. L. Ftisbk 

re of the Lightning Judge Roy Porter, Esq. 

Tin Wanderer's Hell Margaret 7. Preston 

A 1 ish Siorv John Bro~>.<7tjohn 

Am A in Sam Weller, Humorous 

I hetic Eillie Surbridcre Curry 

Magdalen Edgar E. Wakemun 

The First Settler's Story, Pathetic Will M. Carleton 



NOTHING BETTER 



THAN THE 

SCBAP-BOOK 

RECITATION SERIES. 



A bouquet of choice thoughts to tickle the fancy. 
CONTENTS OF No. 4. Price 25 Cents. 

A Tribute to Grant, Eloquent Rev. H. D. Jenkins 

The Joshua of 1776, Fine Description 

The Latest Barbara Frietchie, Comic 

" Lea d v i 1 1 e J i m " , W. WFink 

Jerry, Pathetic Mary L. Dickinson 

The Wee, Wee Bairnie, Pathetic ' 

The Mutilated Currency Question, Humorous Brooklyyi Eagle 

Memory, Poem James A. Garfield 

How a Song- Saved a Soul F. L. Stanton 

A Decoration Day Address Rev. H. Stofie Richardson 

. Mr. Hoffenstein's Bugle, Very Funny 

What the Robin Can Tell "/' 

Mary's Night Ride, Vivid Description G. W. Cable 

Mr. Hopwell's Theory of Suppressing a Fire, Humorous Detroit Free Press 

A Model Summer Hotel, Humorous Travelers Record 

Pat and the Oysters, Humorous 

Family Government, Apt Illustration H. W. Beecher 

The Heroes and the Flowers, Beautiful Description B. F. Taylor 

Expecting to Get Even , Boston Dost 

Driving a Hen, Humorous . , Mobile Register 

A Retrospective, " Old Settlers " 

Where are the Wicked Folks Buried? Truth Seeker 

Romance of a Hat, Humorous Harper's Magazi?ie 

Forever, Sentimental John Boyle O'Reilly 

Courtship Fair and Square 

Every Year, Didactic If on. Ja?nes Covert 

Temperance Song Recital Mrs. P. D. Brown 

Strangely Related 

Kit, or Faithful Unto Death, Pathetic 

Sam's Letter, Very Funny Our Americaji Cousin 

Kindness Chas. R. Barrett 

A Tribute to Longfellow F. N. Zabriskie 

Civil War, Tragic 

Petah, Comic 

Drinking a Tear 

The Married Man and the Bachelor , 

The V-A-S-E N. T. I?idepe7ident 

The" Battle of Mission Ridge, Stirring Description Benj. F. Taylor 

Heroic Medley Herman Page 

A Christmas Carmen '. J. G. Whittier 

The Girl in Gray . Willis Merritt 

An Easter-Tide Deliverance Maria H. Bulfinch 

Fading George How land 

Aurelia's Unfortunate Young Man, Humorous „ Mark Twaiti 

Fritz and His Betsy Fall Out, Humorous George M. Warren 

Help Me Across, Papa, Pathetic Excha?ige 

Mr. Diffident's Speech 

Scene from Leah the Forsaken, Dramatic 

A Railroad Car Scene 

Death of Little Hackett, Pathetic T. S. Denison 

Farmer Stebbins' Appearance on Rollers Will Carleton in Harper's Weekly 

An Untimely Call N. T. Sun 

He Guessed He'd Fight, Comic 

Only Five Minutes to Live Arkansaw Traveler 

Calling the Angels In 

Caliber Fifty-Four Will Carleton, in Harper's Weekly 

Mother's Doughnuts Charles E. Adams 

The Prospects of the Republic; Oration Edward Everett 

Intensely Utter, Humorous Albany Chronicle 

Napoleon Bonaparte Charles P. Phillips 

Autumn Thoughts, Humorous Bill Nye 

A Christmas Song Father Ryan 

The Froward Duster Robt. J. Burdette 

N. B. — Numbers Two and Four are bound in beautiful covers, 
printed in Four ColorSo The other numbers will be bound in hand- 
some covers as new editions are issued. Do not fail to see this 

BEAUTIFUL No. 4. 



TEACHER'S AND STUDENT'S 
LIBRARY. 

THE GREATEST WORK FOR TEACIIERS EVER PUBLISHED. 

This work is a complete library of all knowledge to the common 

school teacher or the common citizen. Besides the branches required by law, it 
contains a large amount of additional matter on subject*, a fair knowledge of 
which all experience has demonstrated to be absolutely necessary to the true 
tie teacher. The table of contents and plan of the work will show this 
claim to be beyond dispute: 

CONTENTS. 



Reading and Elocution. 

Penmanship. 

Arithmetic. 

Mental Arithmetic. 

Geography. 

English Grammar. 

Spelling and Spelling Reform. 

Composition and Letter Writing. 

United States History. 

Theory aiwl Methods of Teaching. 

Civil Government and School Law. 

Parliamentary JJi 



Physiology and Laws of Health. 

Botany. 

Natural Philosophy. 

Chemistry. Natural History. 

Physical Geography. 

Geology. 

General History. 

Bookkeeping and Business Forms. 

Bible and Ancient Geography. 

Hythol 

General Literature. 

Prosody. 



Also model solutions, models for parsing every construction in our language. 
^ Topic lists for study and recitation, etc., etc. 

PLAX.— First, under each branch is a well arranged outline of the entire sub- 
ject; second, a carefully written concise text ; third, a list of test questions num- 
bered to correspond with the paragraphs which contain the answers. No fact 

\naing of each subject is omitted. The rtttthods 
thing tell you in brief space just bowto manage classes in the different 
subjects. The text is the result of careful study and experience, patient research 
and judicious condensation. Jjfi w arrangement, mm 

It Gives the pith of Twenty-five Volumes in one. 

Its conciseness will enable you to accomplish more in a few week- in preparing 

.uiination or for school room work, than could be accomplished by months 

siient in ransacking text-books. Besides, it Bfl Bt of the text books. 

twenty-tive text books cost at publisher's prices a trifle over $30.00. This 

book costs only $3.00. You can use it in connection with a/,y text book. The 

outlines will me you a better kn< f the Subject than you ever had before, 

snd the questions will enable you to t---t your own knowledge, or examine your 

pupils in reviews rapidly and easily. It will sell: 

To every live teacher, 

To every person preparing to teach. 

To every person studying without a teacher, 
TO every intelligent parent. 

fy It is a text book, a wUk to book, a review book. It is indis- 

v good library. 
OXE LARGE OCTAVO VOL. 532 PAGES. 

Price, Elegant Cloth, Beveled Boards, Marbled Edges. Post-paid, $3,00 

^ Price, Strong Library Leather, Post-paid - • _ 3.75 

Agents Wanted Everywhere! 



FRIDAY AFTERNOON SERIES. 

CONTENTS. 

A Domestic Wanted ; Playing- Secretary; The Ghost in the Kitchen; Tempta- 
tion resisted; The Boaster RebuKed; The Tea Party; The Bashful Boy; The May 
Queen; The Anniversary Meeting-; The Runaway; The Quack; The Debating- So- 
ciety; The Amusement Circle; The Patent Right Agent; The Society for the Sup- 
pression of Gossip; A Country Lawsuit; Lost Opportunities; An April Fool; 
Always Too Late. Charades: — Scandinavia; Grateful; Scintillate; Intensity; 
Stockade. 

This series is intended for school entertainments where something- short and 
lively is wanted for boys and girls. These dialogues are all original, and all 
have a point. They are easy of presentation. Some of them are for boys only, 
some for girls, and some for both. 

These Dialogues are not a mere rearrangement of some old dialogue or 
story. They are all new in plot and incident. They are the work of one of the 
most successful writers in this line now before the public. They are sure to 
suit. 

PRICE, PAPER COVER, 25 CENTS. 



" Have used the * Friday Afternoon Series ' and find them just the thing- for 
school entertainments. 1 ' — Mate S. Hoyt, Honey Creek, Wis. 
14 Have seen nothing- better." — R, J. Albright, Gambier, Ohio. 



Ttie Fridey AftErnnnn BpEBkEr. 



This is a choice collection of standard pieces, mostly new. It is divided into three 
parts : Part I contains pieces for older boys and g-irls ; Part II contains short pieces 
for little folks ; Part III consists of short, pithy dialogues for boys and girls. This 
is just the book for schools where something is wanted for all grades of pupils. 
The collection embraces a choice variety of humorous, pathetic, and miscellaneous 
pieces. Price 25 cents. 

" I am very much pleased with the ' Speaker ' which was received to-day. It is 
just what I wanted." — Lettie M. Cummins, Woodstock, III. 



BCHDDL AND PARLOR TABLEAUX. 



By Sara L. Stocking. A choice collection of original tableaux for school, church, 
and parlor entertainments. They embrace a wide range of subjects, from the 
classical to the comic. The historical tableaux admit the use of beautiful costumes, 
and cannot fail to please. F'ull instructions given as to costume. The comic 
tableaux are simple and easily prepared. These tableaux have proved so popular 
that one large edition has been sold and a second called for. The New and Enlarged 
Edition contains a larg-e number of choice new tableaux and several ftne pantomime 

plays. PRICE. 25 CENTS. 



SCRAP-BOOK RECITATION SERIES. 



LATEST AND BEST. 

This series, edited by H. M. Sopcr, professor of elocution, will always give the 

rr snd choicbst readings. As the name implies, it is not a republication of 

hackneyed pieces. While several familiar selections of standard merit will be 

admitted to each number, the editor will take Spei ial pains to meet the demand tor 

v i\n i !u \< , ni w, i ii i extended experience in teaching elocution admirably quali- 
fies him tor discriminating as to what is really well adapted to elocutionary pur- 
poses. The following are a few of the numerous favorable notices which 



NUMBER ONE 

J las received from the press. 

•' The selections are choice in quality, and large in variety." — Inter-Ocean, 
( hicago. 

" It excels anything we have seen for the purpose."" — Eclectic Teacher. 

l ' The latest and best things from our popular writers appear here." — Normal 

T, iiclwr. 

" Very few of the selections have found their way into a collection of this kind 
befi >re. ' ' — Toronto Advertiser. 



NUMBER TWO 

is fully up to the standard of Number One. Other numbers will follow. 

I think Number Two contains many of the finest selections which I have ever 
seen in book form. V. G. Curtis, Supt. of Schools, Corry, Pa. 

" The Scrap- Book Series furnishes the most desirable supplementary reading 
for district schools that we have ever seen." — Michigan {School) Moderator. 

" The selections are fresh, pure and elevating - . They are miscellaneous in style, 
humorous, serious, comic, and pathetic. It is largely convposcd of pieces that have 
never appeared in books of this kind before. M — Missouri Teacher. 



NUMBER THREE 

is just out. It will fully sustain the reputation won by the first two numbers. The 
best mem pieces may be found here. 

Price per Number, cllO pages) Paper Cover, 25 cents. 



SOPER'S ELOCUTIONARY READINGS. 

) 
This book consists of the above three Numbers oound in one volume. It con- 
tains an admirable collection of choice pieces worthy of preservation in the library, 
it is suitable for a reader in public schools, social clubs, classes in Elocution, select 

schools, etc. 

Handsomely bound in L'lotli ,'{30 pages) post- na id Sl.OO- 



THE LITTLE FOLKS 

WILL FIND JUST THE THING TC PLEASL. THEM IN 

By MARY J, JACQUES. 



This book is new and novel. Nothing just like it has ever been published. It 
combines rare amusement with profitable instruction. It serves a threefold object. 
Public Entertainment, Daily Instruction, Home Reading. It is a book 

FOR SCHOOL, CHURCH, or PARLOR ENTERTAINMENTS. 

While nearly all the exercises in the book may be used for public entertain 
ments, Part II furnishes a choice variety of exercises in language, numbers, ani 
mated nature, motion songs, and marching exercises, adapted to popular tunes, etc., 

FOR DAILY USE IN THE SCHOOL ROOM. 

These exercises are presented in such a pleasing manner that they can not fail 
to be popular. 

They will greatly assist the hard-worked teacher of smaller children in city or 
country. 

"WORK AND PLAY" WILL FURNISH YOU: 

Marching Exercises, adapted to popular tunes, 
Motion Songs, adapted to pop ular tunes, 
Games in Grammar, 
Games in Geography, 
Games in Arithmetic, 

Exercises on Trees, Plants, Flowers, 
Exercises on Animals, 

Exercises in Anatomy and Physiology. 
The Seasons, Sun, Earth, Winds, Zones. 
The Senses, Races of Men, 

Industries, etc. 

"WORK AND PLAY " WILL FURNISH YOU THE VERY BEST, MOST 

ORIGINAL, AND MOST ATTRACTIVE 

Fairy Plays, Charades, Tableaux, Dialogues, Pantomimes, 

Allc gories. Pantomime Tableaux, Declamations, etc. 

This book is original throughout. It displays talent of the highest order. Many 
of the poems deserve to be committed to memory, and their lessons treasured for 
life. Everything- in it has a point. 

IT IS A BOOK FOB HOME BEAMXO, 

Or a choice gift book of permanent value for your little friends. 

HANDSOMELY PRINTED, ILLUSTRATED COVER. 

Bound in Strong Manila Boards, (137 pp.) post paid, 50 Cents. 

" Designed as a help in teaching ana amusing young children, and admirably 
adapted to the purpose." — Boston Commonwealth. 
^"Her suggestions are useful, her whole book is very bright, and the exercises 
suggested are both easily done and effective."— Iowa Normal Monthly. .^ 

Si We can assure' our readers that if they want something new and attractive in 
this line they can find it in ' Work and Play? " — Illinois School Journal- 



s? 



4 a 






Deacidified using the Bookkeeper pr: 
Neutralizing agent: Magnesium Oxide 
Treatment Date: Dec. 2004 

PreservationTechnologies 

A WORLD LEADER IN PAPER PRESERVATION 
"homson Park Drive 

A 16066 
(724)779-2111 












V <$z 



#"H ,mW 



-7- 



00' 



V >< 









'Ou v- 






*&. 





















o^ 



$* «ft 







: #'% 



N \ A 



^ 



v a 












k <J^ 






.--:; 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



012 903 910 3 






: ,; ••[: 



